Making Peace—Where You Are

making peaceWith the International Day of Peace (September 21st) just around the corner, I was reminded that global peace is the out-picturing of the Inner Peace that starts from within. Transforming difficulties into peaceful learning experiences starts with making peace with where you are, right now.

Making Peace with Contrast

When we are in the middle of intense contrast, in the throes of often crippling fear, anxiety, worry, and doubt, peace is not easy to feel. However, if we don’t want to stay in this place, we must shift our energy, and the easiest way I know to do that is to make peace with where we are, right in that state of contrast.

Law of Attraction dictates that our dominant vibration will draw to us similar-vibration thoughts, feelings, and experiences. So, staying in debilitating fear and anxiety of intense contrast means we’re attracting to us vibrational-equivalents. At some point, the idea of making peace will feel much easier than staying in the contrast.

Bees in the Attic

Personal case in point: In mid-2006, after going into shock from a bee sting, I had been informed that I was now officially allergic to bees. So, imagine how I felt when, during a slow time for my design business, a huge active beehive was discovered in the attic above the master bedroom of my townhome!

Business had been slow, and my finances were tight. My first fear was how to pay to remove the beehive. In a state of fear and panic over the situation, I had forgotten that a bee sting could be deadly!

Every time I thought about the beehive, how it needed to be removed quickly, and that I didn’t know how I would pay for it, I became even more fearful and panicked. My thoughts kept spiraling, and my energy was sinking with them. At some point, in my haze of spiral thinking, I remembered Abraham‘s suggestion to ‘count your blessings’.

Count my blessings?!? ::shock:: How was I supposed to do THAT in the face of THIS?!? I wasn’t sure, but I made myself sit down, right then, and write out a list. The first one was hard to think of, but when I remembered that I hadn’t been stung inside my home by the bees from my own hive, I put it first on the list.

Once I made a list of the blessings, and there turned out to be many, I was suddenly feeling much better about the whole situation! Whenever the fear thoughts would arise, I would turn back to my list of blessings and find myself smiling that I ever thought this situation was a ‘problem’.

As I focused on the list of blessings, something interesting happened. Not only did I feel better, but a short while after making the list, the inspection company that had found the hive called me to say the neighbors would be sharing the expense of removal! Turns out, they were the source of the hive. To me, knowing that the bill would be less than expected was a blessing.

Then, out of the blue, a client I hadn’t spoken to in a long time called me for a large project that would not only cover the cost of the bee removal but provide income for many months ahead. I was amazed and delighted!

By shifting my focus from the ‘problem’ to the ‘blessings’, the entire situation literally transformed into a blessing!

Making peace with where you are will help you release the resistance to the contrast, and see the situation from a better-feeling perspective.

Making Peace Worksheet

I realize that by the time I learned to look for blessings in the middle of contrast, I had been studying metaphysics for many years. You might not find it so easy to shift your energy on your ‘what is’ (contrast).

To help you, I’ve created a downloadable PDF worksheetmaking peace worksheet, to print and fill out. This worksheet may initially seem hard. Sitting down to do it is the hardest part. Once you experience the value of the process, however, I hope you find that transforming your ‘what is’ contrast is more enjoyable than you expected!

If you are currently in fear, anxiety, worry, and doubt over a high-contrast situation, I invite you to download and use this worksheet to shift your energy into a better vibration. Feel free to share this post with other friends who could benefit, too!

If you found this worksheet helpful, please leave a comment below to share your experience, too!

Image: demango23

Why Your Creative or Healing Business is Not Growing

WhyBizNotGrowing

Many of my mentoring clients are creative and/or healing professionals who feel spiritually *called* to their work—it feels like their life’s purpose. They are drawn to me because they want to find a way to do their heart work while also making a good living.

Creative and healing professionals often have their craft at the forefront of their business radar—none would have considered opening their doors if they didn’t feel they offered a valuable service. In fact, the number one reason creative and healing professionals do not officially start their businesses is a fear that they are ‘not good enough, yet’.

These professionals spend an enormous amount of time making sure they have something of value to offer, and constantly improving those offerings.

What often takes a back seat to the honing of their craft or skill, though, is the actual Sales and Marketing for their business. It’s true. S&M (Sales and Marketing) are often viewed as torturous. Not only do these skills not come easy to these professionals, there are often a lot of bad-feeling stories and judgment wrapped around the idea of sales and marketing, as well as other essential business success functions like hiring a support team. I’m talking about the kind of bad-feeling stories and judgment that keeps people stuck where they are, never able to move forward.

When Our Stories And Judgments Hold Us In Limbo
Amy (name changed for privacy) feels called to her work as a massage therapist who incorporates sound healing, and often refers to it as her ‘heart work’. Performing her work fulfills her deeply and she cannot see herself NOT doing this work.

However, Amy has been struggling for the last few years to get her business off the ground and actually growing. See if you can tell from Amy’s stories why her business is not growing…

• “I hate having to sell or promote my business.”
• “UGH…Marketing feels like busy work—so much to do, for no results.”
• “No one can afford my fees—and I cannot afford to drop my fees any farther.”
• “It’s pretty much impossible to make a living doing my heart work!”
• “I highly doubt people making money doing this work are ethical. I don’t know how they can possibly be making any money!”
• “I’m not willing to be a sell-out like others, in order to be successful in my work.”

In addition to focusing on what she hates about her business, Amy has already decided people cannot afford her services, and she negatively judges others who manage to make money in her field.

These stories and judgments are woven into nearly every conversation Amy has, and despite understanding the power of energy, these are also woven into Amy’s own mental self-talk. In fact, her stories are now so embedded into her being (she’s been telling them so long), the minute she sees her business cards or equipment, she physically feels the negative impact in her body.

Professional colleagues who encounter Amy find themselves feeling drained after speaking with her, so they make excuses not to interact. No one is mentioning her business to potential clients.

Family and friends, who say they want to support Amy, instead, find themselves commiserating with just how *difficult* it must be to start and run a successful business. This only reinforces what Amy already believes to be true.

Creative and healing professionals who have both an inner calling to do their life’s work while simultaneously holding bad-feeling stories and judgments that prevent them from growing their business or being financially successful are their own worst enemies.

That disconnect between their calling and their stories/judgments that undermines their calling creates energetic resistance, keeping business growth and success forever at bay in a state of suspension. Never growing. Never thriving. Always pain-filled. Frustrating. Exhausting.

Sound familiar?

It Matters How You Start and Nurture Your Business
When I began working with Amy, I helped her see how she had actually started her business with the doubt, bad-feeling stories and judgments in place. Then, when her business began to reflect those stories and judgments back to her, she labeled what she observed as the ‘reality’ of her failing business.

Once she had observed and labeled the failure, she was never able to imagine something better because ‘reality’ (aka ‘what is’) was always staring her in the face. She literally set the groundwork for her business to fail before she started and then she nurtured the failure, not the success.

Whenever Amy had tried to set her observed ‘reality’ aside for a moment, to imagine something better for her business, she had plenty of people around her happy to remind her of ‘reality’. Her husband and parents, attempting to be helpful, were particularly relentless in suggesting that Amy give up on her dream, and just get a reliable 9-to-5 job. (For the record, not following your heart work is soul-crushing, and a fast-track to depression and loss of self-esteem.)

Abraham-Hicks often talks about the importance of only focusing on ‘what is’ if we ENJOY ‘what is’. Otherwise, they tell us we have to be willing to look beyond it in order to grow:

As others insist that you look at “reality,” they are influencing you to be rooted to this spot like a tree. As long as you are seeing only what-is, you cannot grow beyond it. You must be allowed to see what you want to see if you will ever attract what you want to see. Attention to what-is only creates more of what-is.

(excerpt, The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham, pg 190)

Looking beyond ‘what-is’ is a skill well worth developing as a business owner. Successful business owners know this. Children practice this every day as they play using their imaginations. They suspend their disbelief that their playmate is not really a cowboy and they are not really a pirate. They toss a piece of fabric around their backs and call it a cape, and strike the Super Man pose with true conviction.

In that moment…they ARE what they imagine themselves to be. They FEEL the power of their imaginations, and they revel in the joy of it.

As adults, we can benefit greatly from brushing off our childhood skills of suspending disbelief and imagining something fun in our professional life.

Brain science has already proven that the subconscious mind does not know the difference between our real observations, our memories, or our imagination. The subconscious is moving forward, choosing opportunities and experiences based on how you feel. If you start a business with stories of doubt, fear, and judgment of those who are successful, the feeling is probably not very good—and neither will be the results.

Getting Help To Succeed
Amy hired me when she needed someone dedicated to seeing her succeed, willing to guide her through the maze to turn her business around from the ground up. First, she had to consciously choose to wipe the slate clean on her business, create her business anew from a better-feeling place while releasing her judgments. Then, she had to be willing to actively nurture her own success as one would lovingly tend a garden. As a result, Amy discovered a new-found interest in sales and marketing on her own terms, in a way that was fun and invigorating for her. The result is a thriving business with a lot less frustration, and a MUCH happy business owner!

What are you willing to do to grow your creative or healing business? Share your better-feeling stories in the comments below…

Image credit: Ion Chiosea

Have You Been Stoking the ‘Need’?

Are you Stoking the NEEDYears ago, I knew someone who used to call me every few hours insisting that she ‘needed me’ to solve the crisis-of-the-moment. In reality, none of these crises actually existed, except in this person’s mind. Despite being fully capable of handling these crises herself, she had convinced herself that I was the *only* person who could help.

Initially, I spent copious time patiently reassuring her and answering her same questions over and over and over. Talking to her positively, encouraging her to see the bigger picture. Meanwhile, I kept wondering WHY this particular person constantly  calling with dramatic stories of needing rescue.

Then, it dawned on me.

This was a common pattern for this gal. Despite being fully qualified in many ways, she had convinced herself that she wasn’t…and that she needed others to rescue her…everyday! She was clearly carrying a story around that must have been something like:

OH, NO…I don’t think I can handle this. This is too hard! I’m not capable or smart enough to figure this out. I don’t want to be alone with this [fill in the blank problem] because there’s NO WAY I can figure it out myself. Someone else has to help me! OMG – HELP! CRISIS! DISASTER LOOMS…HELP…HELP!!!

While she unconsciously stoked the feelings of urgency, crisis, lack and ‘need’ within herself,  it was manifesting in her outer world…or, rather it appeared to her as manifesting. To me, she seemed to be anticipating problems more than actually experiencing them. Law of Attraction was lining her up with experiences that would make her right.  How we show up in the world reflects our self-talk and deepest inner beliefs.

As I type this, and reflect back on this time in my life, this person was also a mirror for me to see my own ‘need to rescue’. Since like vibrations cohere, Law of Attraction was responding to my need by lining me up with someone who needed to be rescued.

In the beginning, I was happy to be of assistance. But over time, it was no longer fun for me to interact with this friend only in this way. In fact, it was downright exhausting and it was not a functional friendship since I was only called to put out fires, not to relate as a friend.

Do you recognize yourself in either of these examples?

If you like this experience, by all means, keep creating it! If you don’t then in order for Law of Attraction to deliver something different, you have to be willing to shift your energy. That sounds tricky, but it’s not as difficult as you might think.

First, start telling a different story. Even if it’s just a softer version of the story you’ve been telling yourself, begin anew. This friend might have started by shifting her self-talk to something like, I usually like to have help, but I am a capable adult…I wonder how much of this I can resolve on my own. If I can’t figure it out by [date], then I will ask around. Then, taking any actions that she felt guided to take that aligned with the new story.

If telling the new story feels too hard, or brings up lower energies of fear, worry, and doubt, it can be helpful to use a tool like EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to address those feelings and begin to clear them before you start telling a new story.

The new story I actually told myself to shift out of this experience was I appreciate and cultivate healthy, functional friendships with kind people who are capable and helpful. Abraham has said, when we shift our own energy, our experience must shift in response. In fact, other people may meet us in the new vibration, or they may vibrate right out of our experience. In this particular situation, the person seemed to magically stop calling me, and eventually we lost touch. As I let go of the ‘need to rescue’, this person may have lost the need for help or may have connected with someone else who ‘needed to rescue’.

Second, remember times in your past when you exhibited capability. Chances are, you have many, but may not give them much mental attention. Change that now…close your eyes, remember those times, and feel how it feels in your body. Remember this feeling so you can call it up when feeling capable is desired.

Third, look without attachment for evidence that your new story is materializing. In other words, release attachment but allow the evidence to reveal itself to you.

Finally, practice. The next time you are feeling needy, remember this is a golden opportunity to practice a new vibration. Practice makes perfect, so remember the new story and implement it. Call up the memories from the past, and remember the evidence all around you.

Got an experience with this? Share your story in the comments below…

 

 

TRUST

What does trust mean to you and how are you currently experiencing trust in your life?

Where I am in complete trust, those areas of my life flow so easily. Where I do not trust, havoc seems to reign. This is not a coincidence, it is the law of attraction in action!

Like a Trusttuning fork resonating with the strings of the universe, our state of being is always being broadcast (through the body’s electro-magnetic field generated by the heart). With each heartbeat, your state of trust (or lack thereof) is telling the Universe how to mirror reality back to you.

Trusting is knowing…deep inside your heart…that ALL IS WELL. You may not know *how* situations will turn out, but you know they will. As a matter of course, they always do work out well, even if they work out in ways you may not have predicted or requested.

Allowing Trust

How do you cultivate trust when it isn’t automatically present? So many of us have been raised to believe we can only trust if what we are experiencing proves the situation is worth trusting. However, through my personal growth I began experiencing something different. In many cases, trust is something that bubbles up when we simply allow the possibility.

When we open to the possibility in our hearts and minds that we can begin trusting (whatever it is we want to experience), it’s amazing how the trust seems to bubble up from inside of us. Once we feel it, we know trust is possible. Christian Mystics call this the Christ Consciousness within, the divine energy force that flows through us, shifting based on how we are choosing to experience life. Whatever you call it, most of us have experienced this and it’s affect is undeniable!

If we are closed to trusting (someone or something), then our experience reflects that. The situation reverses when we open ourselves to trusting.

For instance, take something in your life you’ve been stressing about. Recognize the feeling you have in your body when you are stressing, and ask yourself:

What would I be feeling now if I knew this was all going to work out wonderfully? As that question hovers in your awareness, sit with it and feel the shift in your body’s energy. Notice how your body relaxes, and how trusting now feels more possible.

Soon, you will be finding yourself able to relax and trust in ways you didn’t even know were possible before! If you are familiar with Quantum Entrainment / Pure Awareness, try it on opening yourself to the possibility that all is working out beautifully for you.

Choosing Trust

You can live your life choosing to trust or not to trust. It’s always your choice to experience trust or the lack of it, and you are always free to make a new choice. You can live in doubt and worry, or you can live in trust. You can live in frustration and fear or you can trust.

For instance, I trust that I am always safe. Feeling safe and being safe are now a given. I have decided I am safe, and once I made that choice I began experiencing feeling safe more often. Even in circumstances that others would find harrowing, my inner compass trusts that “I am safe” and reminds me often. At one time in my life, this was not true. That’s how I know that we can choose something different and experience the result. I decided to choose trust. You can choose trust.

What are you choosing to trust?

Trusting Versus Taking For Granted

Know that trusting is not the same as taking something for granted. It’s a subtle vibrational difference, but it’s there: Trusting is a confident knowing inside and feels affirmative. Like you are saying “YES, that’s right!”

Taking something for granted, for me, feels ambivalent—like not caring. It’s not even important enough to choose or make a decision about. Many of us would admit that we take our government for granted. We expect it to run and focus on the things that matter to us, but we put virtually no effort toward seeing or experiencing our government improving. Then, we get mad when actions are taken that we don’t agree with.

What areas of your life do you take for granted?

Where could you begin trusting more, and taking less for granted?

As you contemplate the week ahead, I’d like to leave you with one other thought about trust. When you think of trust, think of this acronym…

T R U S T = Totally Relying Upon Superior Thoughts

Superior thoughts are those thoughts that feel good to contemplate. They raise your vibe and make you smile. They fill your heart with hope and possibility.

Now it’s your turn! What do you find easy to trust, and what helps you develop trust? Share your comments and suggestions below.

Effective Solopreneur: Energy Management

Why Worry?Almost 20 year ago when I was going through a particularly frustrating period of my life someone gave me the Why Worry? graphic [see right].

At the time, I was going through a difficult divorce while raising a not-yet-diagnosed toddler with Asperger’s Syndrome, working full-time at a Silicon Valley company and spending a great deal of my time worrying about WHAT IFs. No doubt, all that worrying was a colossal waste of what little energy I had available.

My analytical left-brain appreciated the statistics about the pointlessness of worry. I’d read it to remind myself, but before long, I’d find myself worrying…again. Why was that happening?!? More importantly, what could I do about it?

Even though I could logically see that worry was a waste of time and energy, my creative right-brain had become quite dependent upon worrying. You see, I had trained myself (over many years) to worry… about everything. I was really good at it, too! That’s why my creative thoughts immediately went *there* time and time again.

My brain defaulted to worrying, and I was so stuck in that rut I didn’t know how to train myself to use my energy more productively. The sad truth is, most people who are addicted to worry do NOT know how to use their mind to focus consistently in more positive ways. Worrying requires incredible creative skills and use our imagination to think of the WORST possible scenarios so our mind can spin on them.

Since the Law of Attraction ensures that we attract into our experiences whatever we give our attention, you can see that worrying attracts more things to fret and worry about.

Imagine being able to retrain yourself to harness your creative energy, and use it in an empowering way!

> What would you be creating more of, as a result?

> What would you be creating a lot less of?

> How would your life and business benefit?

 

Is WORRY your default energy or attitude? Share below what you have done to manage your energy better…

PS: If the graphic helps you, too, just right click the image at right to download and print the PDF reminder for yourself.

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