Marisa Peer Can Teach Your Mind to Believe

Marisa PeerIf you’ve been struggling with your business success for a while, there may be unconscious ways in which you are blocking your success. A few months ago, I stumbled across Marisa Peer’s 2015 talk at MindValley’s Belief Hacking Event in Costa Rica. Marisa is an internationally known and respected Hypnotherapist who helps people develop positive beliefs and improve their life experiences. After watching the video and following along with the exercise, I immediately was impressed by what she shared and knew it could help many people.

Shortly after sharing the post on my AffirmingSpirit Facebook page and at Good Vibe University, I began receiving numerous comments and emails thanking me, sharing the AHAs each person had experienced. This particular video hits the nail on the head for many people who have felt like ‘no matter what they do, it’s not working’. They have been in their own way for a long time, but don’t see it.

Marisa Peer: How to Teach Your Mind That Everything is Available to You

Take a moment to watch this powerful video and follow along with the short guided exercise that will help you teach your mind that everything is available to you…

As children, we often received messages of lack, struggle, difficulty, and ‘not enough’ from our care givers. Some of us were constantly told, “no, you can’t have what you want.” It may have seemed that we never could have what we wanted or asked for from our guardians. No question, the care givers in our lives were doing the best they could with what they had.

As adults, other than extreme cases of abuse, we might look back on our experiences with compassion and understand what our ill- informed guardians were trying to do—and how they thought they were preparing us for the “Real World”. But as children, we often internalized those experiences to mean that there’s not enough, we’re not enough, we’re not capable of having what we desire, and that what we desire is not only out-of-reach…but not even available to us.

You Are Supported!

Marisa Peer makes it clear in this video that the Universe that created you, and gave you all of your amazing talents, will support you in EVERYTHING—everything that you want.

You are fully supported in your success and well-being. Author Chellie Campbell calls the Universe is a “Big Yes Machine”—happy to give you the essence of whatever you request. However, if your mind does not know this, and your thoughts / words / actions do not support this understanding, that split energy could be holding you back.

Not feeling supported, and not feeling enough—capable enough, talented enough, knowledgeable enough, resourceful enough, strong enough, smart enough, etc.—is at the heart of a lot of business (and life) dysfunction.

When your mind, body, and spirit feels supported and ‘enough’, there is a sense of inner peace, calm, and relaxation that replaces the constant need to fill the void. If you followed along with the guided exercise in the video and recognize yourself in Maria’s talk, you might want to begin affirming your support and enough-ness.

Below are three short generic affirmations inspired by Marisa’s talk which you can begin saying to yourself when you wake up, throughout your day, and as you fall asleep at night.

By regularly repeating (saying and writing) these affirmations, you will flood your mind and spirit with the realization that the Universe is supporting you, everything you want is available to you right this moment, and you are always ‘enough’.

Any affirmation, but especially generic affirmations like these, are most effective when we’re relaxed and not contradicting the affirmations. So, make sure you are breathing deeply and slowly, and feeling no tension in your body when you repeat these affirmations to yourself. When you say them, notice how your body feels when you know the truth of these powerful statements.

What did you think of Marisa shares in this video, and the guided exercise? I’d love for you to share your AHAs and thoughts below in the comments.

Image credit: mindvalley and Barry-Jansson & Associates

Renew Your Vision

illustration by Nancy Barry-JanssonThe other day I was watching a video where they mentioned how we can become accustomed to the sights and smells in our home, and not notice them at all whereas a stranger would notice them immediately. This is why we can daily walk past, or over piles, of paperwork to be filed, dirty clothes waiting to be laundered, and books waiting to be finished…never remembering or making time to deal with them. Or why we do not notice the smell of last night’s dinner lingering or the odor of our beloved pets. We can become accustomed and block it out of our everyday attention, but it’s still lurking as an energy drain beneath our conscious attention (or lack thereof) ~ and it feeds our self-image.

One of my clients is an executive business coach who recently recounted an experience at one of his corporate client’s offices. Upon walking into the environment, he began *seeing* obvious issues of which his client seemed oblivious. When he made a suggestion to them, they were astonished at what a good idea it was…and how they hadn’t noticed the issue before he pointed it out!

When he was sharing this story, my first thought was how easy it is to overlook our own problems, issues, and distractions. One of the many benefits of having a mentor or coach is that they can immediately *see* what’s not working for us, what’s sticking out, and what’s blocking our progress. When they point it out, we can finally *see* the issues and do something about them!

This also got me wondering: What have we stopped seeing in our own business, gotten so used to working around or dealing with, that we no longer *see* it?

If a stranger walked into your home or business today, what might they see and immediately see is not working for you?

Take a walk around your home, office, yard, and check out your car…really take notice as if you are seeing it with renewed vision. Does your home, office, yard, and car support the person you are choosing to be? If so, how…and if not, what would be good to change right now? Decluttering? Re-organizing? Shifting priorities?

TIP: If there is a lot to do, break it down into smaller steps. As you see yourself taking actions to make your environment supportive, your subconscious receives the message: I am ready grow. I am ready to become an even better version of myself.

Just as we can become accustomed to physical environments, we can become accustomed to our own emotions. In fact, as we age, our emotions narrow to the ones most often used: Happy people get happier, angry people get angrier, sad people get more sad, and so on. Some might call this Law of Attraction in action, but here is a bio-chemical reason for this: The brain regularly cleans house of unnecessary/unused receptors and chemicals, and makes more receptors to handle the common chemicals.

What emotions would you like to be experiencing more often? Does your current environment (physical and emotional) support you? How can you set up your current environment (physical and emotional) to support you? Who are the people you’d like to spend more time with?

When you renew your vision of yourself and set up your physical and emotional environment to support you, the Universe is only too happy to mirror that vision back to you!

Tell me…what is your renewed vision showing you? Share it in the comments below or tell us how you have done this in the past.

Cultivating Self-Love

In the latest Co=Creation Cafe, Prosperity Coach Joan Sotkin talks about “It’s NOT About the Money: The Inner Work of Lasting Financial
Well-Being”. In her closing comments, she recommends two important things to the listener. One of them is learning to love yourself, and
self-love is what this post will focus upon.
It would be a very long post if I wrote about ALL the things you can do to cultivate self-love, so let me just hit the high points. Feel free to
share any additional ideas or comments below.
Talk to anyone who has spent time on personal growth and they will tell you: At the basis of every problem (health, wealth, relationships, etc.)
is a lack of self-love.  Louise Hay discovered this when she was doing 1:1 consulting. When we take the time to address this one aspect of
our life, we begin to shift everything for the better.
That said, what does it *mean* to love yourself?
Think of how you feel when you love a pet, a child, or a good friend? How do you feel when you see them? What efforts do you take to help
them or make their life more enjoyable? Do you do the same for yourself?
Self-care is one way that we show self-love to ourselves. For example, we can make time for:
• Regular exercise to keep your body-temple functioning at it’s best
• Daily meditation or quiet contemplation
• Eating healthy sit-down meals
• Taking breaks for deep breathing~from your belly, not shallow breathing from your chest
• Getting to sleep at a regular time, and the right amount of sleep for you to be at your best
• Doing something fun every day~laughter is a powerful medicine
• Counting your blessings (on paper or in your mind) every day
There are countless ways to embrace self-care. Share your favorites in the comments below.
We also show ourselves self-love when we are clear about how we will allow others to treat us. Take a look around your world and notice the
people you respect the most. How do they allow others to treat them? Which of those examples feel *good* to you? Are you doing them
already? If not, consider establishing your boundaries and how you will maintain them.
As I have grown my social network, I have come across some really wonderful, enlightened souls. Unfortunately, I have also come across a
few posers: Those who pretend for the world that they are enlightened, even make their living teaching others, then treat people they see as a
threat with incredible disrespect and lack of kindness. I have empathy for these people, because I realize their actions come from their fears
and lack of self-love.
When someone treats me poorly the first time, I forgive and forget. Hey, we’re all human. Bad days happen. Apologies are accepted.
However, if it happens a second time, I am on alert. This shows me that this person may have a pattern of treating others with negatively to
temporarily feel better.
As a coach, I’ve noticed more than one client *picking a fight* with me just as they are at the point of making a huge shift. See, when someone
is fearful of change, it’s sometimes easier to find fault or lay blame on another person than it is to stand in our power, face the fear, and make
the shift. When a client does this, I know they are not ready to make a change. I understand that.
However, when someone calls me their friend and then makes a habit of treating me poorly, it’s time for me to send them love and move on.
Sure, I could spend time explaining why their behavior is unacceptable, but in my experience~if this is truly their pattern~they will just keep
repeating the pattern. It’s not a matter of IF, but a matter of WHEN. If they can mistreat someone 3 times, they can just as easily do it 300 or
300,000 times.
Dr. Phil says, “We teach people how to treat us.” While I am a very understanding and tolerant person, I’ve learned that no one else will teach
others how to treat me with love and respect. Part of cultivating self-love is making the conscious decision to establish our own boundaries
and then maintain them. We can be loving, understanding, even forgiving, without being a doormat for the ongoing bad behaviors of a few.
What this does is send a powerful message to your inner-self:
• I love myself
• I am deserving of love from myself and others
• I care enough to only allow those who are aligned with that love
• I do not accept poor treatment from myself or others
• I surround myself with people who support and appreciate me
• If I encounter those who are unkind, I bless with love and move on
That’s enough for now. It’s your turn: How do you cultivate self-love? Has this post given you ideas for yourself? If so, please share below so
visitors can learn from your wisdom.

In the November 2009  Co=Creation Cafe, Prosperity Coach Joan Sotkin discusses “It’s NOT About the Money: The Inner Work of Lasting Financial Well-Being“. In her closing comments, she recommends two important things to the listener. One of them is learning to love yourself…and self-love is what this post will focus upon.

It would be a very long post if I wrote about ALL the things you can do to cultivate self-love, so let me just hit the high points. Feel free to share any additional ideas or comments below.

Talk to anyone who has spent time on personal growth and they will tell you: At the basis of every problem (health, wealth, relationships, etc.) is a lack of self-love. Louise Hay discovered this when she was doing 1:1 consulting. When we take the time to address this one aspect of our life, we begin to shift everything for the better.

That said, what does it really *mean* to love yourself? How does one cultivate self-love?

Think of how you feel when you love a pet, a child, or a good friend? How do you feel when you see them? What efforts do you take to help them or make their life more enjoyable? Do you extend the same courtesies to yourself? Part of being a Deliberate Creator is to align your vibration with the Divine Source of All-That-Is~the loving energy that is the basis of everything we experience with our multiple-senses.

Self-care is an important way that we exhibit and cultivate self-love. For example, we can make time for:

> Regular exercise to keep your body-temple functioning at it’s best

> Daily meditation or quiet contemplation

> Eating healthy sit-down meals

> Consciously choosing supportive thoughts/beliefs (affirmations, visualizations)

> Taking breaks for deep breathing~from your belly, not shallowly from your chest

> Getting to sleep at a regular time, and the right amount of sleep for you to be at your best

> Doing something fun every day~laughter is a powerful medicine

> Counting your blessings (on paper or in your mind) often and regularly

This is just a short-list. There are countless ways to embrace self-care. If you’d like more information, listen to the February and March 2009 Co=Creation Cafe Calls about Nurturing Your Most Important Relationship (Parts I & II). Have favorites of your own? Be sure to share them in the comments below.

We also show ourselves self-love when we are clear about how we will allow others to treat us. Take a look around your world and notice the people you respect the most. How do they allow others to treat them? Which of those examples feel *good* to you? Are you doing them already? If not, consider establishing your boundaries and deciding how you will maintain them.

As I have grown my social network, I have come across some really wonderful, enlightened souls. Unfortunately, I have also come across a few posers: Those who pretend for the world that they are enlightened, even make their living teaching others, then treat people they see as a threat with incredible disrespect and lack of kindness. I have empathy for these people, because I realize their actions ultimately come from their fears and lack of self-love.

When someone treats me poorly the first time, I forgive and forget. Hey, we’re all human. Bad days happen. Apologies are accepted.

However, if it happens a second time, I am on alert. This shows me that this person may have a pattern of treating others negatively in order to temporarily feel better.

As a coach, I’ve noticed more than one client *picking a fight* with me just as they are at the point of making a huge shift. See, when someone is fearful of change, it’s sometimes easier to find fault or lay blame on another person than it is to stand in our power, face the fear, and make the shift. When a client does this, I know they are not ready to make a change. I understand that. Usually, they are looking for an easy exit, and picking a fight is easier than saying, “I don’t think I’m ready just yet. Can we take a break?”

However, when someone calls me their friend and then makes a habit of treating me poorly, it’s time for me to send them love and move on.

Sure, I could spend time explaining why their behavior is unacceptable, but in my experience they usually don’t want to hear this truth, AND~if this is truly their pattern~they will just keep repeating the pattern. It’s not a matter of IF, but a matter of WHEN. If they can mistreat someone 3 times, they can just as easily do it 300 or 300,000 times.

I don’t quote Dr. Phil often, but I do agree when he says, “We teach people how to treat us.” While I am a very understanding and tolerant person, I’ve learned that no one else (except me) will teach others how to treat me with love and respect. Therefore, part of cultivating self-love is making the conscious decision to establish our own boundaries and then consciously maintain them. We can be loving, understanding, even forgiving, without being a doormat for the ongoing bad behaviors of a few.

When we consciously set boundaries and then maintain them, we send a powerful message to our inner-self:

> I love and respect myself

> I am deserving of love and respect from myself and others

> I care enough to only allow those who are aligned with my own love and respect

> I do not accept poor treatment from myself or others

> I take responsibility for loving, respecting, and protecting myself

> I surround myself with people who love, respect, support and appreciate me

> If I encounter those who are unkind, I bless them with love and move on

That’s enough for now. It’s your turn: How do you cultivate self-love? Has this post given you ideas for yourself? If so, please share below so visitors can learn from your wisdom.

Allowing Success

You’ve told everyone about your intentions, and set about taking actions to make your success a reality.

Instead of experiencing the success you’ve envisioned, things seem to be falling apart.

No matter what you do, nothing is working. Your energy for following your dream is fading and fast!

What’s Really Going On?

allowing successWhether your idea of success is personal (weight loss, relationships, ending an addiction, etc.) or professional (getting a job, being promoted, starting or growing a business, etc.), one of the key factors in experiencing success is ‘allowing’ that success to happen.

“What are you talking about, Nancy? Of COURSE I am allowing my success! Why wouldn’t I allow my own success?

Indeed, a very good question to ask: Why wouldn’t you allow your own success? Being successful can mean a lot of things, all of which involve CHANGE.

For starters, success changes how others see you, and more importantly, how you see yourself! If your internal view of self, your self-image, does not support the direction that success will take you, you are likely sabotaging your opportunities.

If success is far greater than your community (or tribe) is used to seeing, you may fear being evicted from that circle of connection and may sabotage your opportunities. When I began making more money than the majority of my friends, it was clear that they felt uncomfortable not being able to afford the activities that I suggested. It challenged those in my circle who were not successful, and they made it clear that they did not like it. I no longer include those people in my circle.

Success as you envision it may change you faster, or more, than you are currently prepared to experience. You are expected to let go of the familiar and embrace the unknown. For some people, this is exciting and welcome. For others, this possibility is so scary that they subconsciously don’t want to see their efforts come to fruition. I say subconsciously because they *appear* to be taking appropriate actions, but never seem to *catch a break*. For the rest of the world, it appears as if they have just had a very hard life. They are, in fact, creating experiences (as we all do) that ensure their failure despite the numerous actions taken.

Self-sabotage can take many forms…

A. Focusing our attention toward inevitable failure versus expecting great results. We lower our vibration by running negative self-talk and images of previous failures so much that it becomes automatic and unconscious. This vibration naturally attracts results that match.

B. Setting goals that really aren’t ours—they belong to people we look up to—and we pursue them in the hopes of receiving approval from others. However, our hearts are not in the goal, the process, or the journey, so our actions fall flat.

C. Being unable or unwilling to take appropriate actions. By insisting on more research, more testing, more processing, we are forever preoccupied with the discovery process and never seem to have time to take the project further. Our plans stall, waiting for us to get clear about what we really want.

D. Failing to create a supportive environment for ourselves. We refuse to let go of behaviors that prevent us from succeeding. Rather than confront a dysfunctional habit, we try to incorporate it and never seem to gain traction. We hang around people who complain, blame, and find fault with others success. There’s never enough space, time, resources to accomplish our goals.

E. Undermining our relationships with the very people we rely upon to succeed: Vendors, Employees, Contractors, Colleagues, and Partners. By picking fights any point of contention will do with the people we rely upon to accomplish our goals, then we have a convenient excuse for not being able to move forward.

There are probably more…these are just the ones that come to mind.

Shortly after I started my business in 1994, I invited a fellow Chamber of Commerce member to join me on a large project. I felt sorry for her because of all the struggles she had in growing her business and I believed she was a good person. What happened next shocked me: She systematically began fighting and alienating everyone in the project, including me! Then, she’d ask for advice and promptly attack anyone who offered suggestions. I could hardly believe what I was seeing, and my contacts in the project were contacting me separately to say they were really not impressed with her.

Now, when I look back, I can see: This gal had a very poor self-image, generated a lot of destructive self-talk, and subconsciously went about ensuring her failure. To add insult to injury, she constantly talked about her problems and beat herself up over these failures which created a vicious cycle. It would have been shocking IF she had been successful in business!

Whether your current self-image is not keeping pace with your desire for success, you are afraid of change, or your capacity for change is not where it needs to be, that doesn’t have to remain your fate. We all have the capacity to grow and improve.

To prepare yourself for the growth and improvement success will bring,  consider these tips:

1. Start with self-love. Louise Hay, founder of HayHouse Publishing and author of You Can Heal Your Life, discovered there is no problem or issue, personal or professional, that cannot be resolved with self-love. Love is the greatest force in the Universe, capable of healing, growing, and teaching all who come in contact. As you love yourself more, you send a message to the Universe, and you open up to compassion for self and others. If your efforts fail, you speak lovingly to yourself as you get back up and move forward. When others fail around you, the compassion flows forth from your heart.

What action can you take today to be more loving to yourself?

2. Before taking action, line up your energy. Center your energy with regular meditation. Even 5 minutes every morning or night can make a difference. Make sure your self-talk and attitudes reflect the success you are seeking. Replace old self-talk and tapes with new positive affirmations that are better aligned with the new version of yourself. Envision the outcome often enough that you begin to feel as if it has *already happened*. As you meditate, affirm, and vision your success into being, you will naturally be guided to inspired actions. This way, every action you take counts and is far more effective.

How can you begin lining up your energy?

3. Set yourself up for success. As you are making efforts to love yourself and line up your energy, take stock of how your current environment supports you or fails to support you in moving forward. Clear out clutter. Prepare space to work and to live. Make room physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Be conscious about letting go of what isn’t working, and be clear with yourself why it isn’t working. Surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed. If you are self-employed or a freelancer, you’ll find support in a Mastermind group. If you need help, ask for it. If you don’t know who to ask, ask the Universe to help (journal, pray, meditate). Answers, solutions, people, and opportunities will always be revealed to one who asks.

What can you do today to begin setting yourself up for success?

Have you prepared yourself for allowing success? How did you do it? Share your observations, comments, and suggestions so others may learn from you.

(Consciously) Choosing Thoughts That Support You

Recently, I was coaching one of my clients and she mentioned a grim statistic about her industry. It was necessary to stop the client and remind her that 1.) a statistic is just a group of facts—determined by past thoughts and actions—gathered to prove a point, and 2.) if the point that a statistic proves does not support you in what you want to create for your life…let it go…it has no value to you.

You are the only one who thinks the thoughts inside your brain. No one else can think or change your thoughts for you. It’s wise to choose thoughts that support the best of who you are, who you intend to be, and what you intend to experience. When you think of it, why would we consciously choose to think thoughts that do not support where we want to go or what we want to experience? Sadly, most people do exactly that—unconsciously—every day, all day long.

If you passively allow thoughts to enter your mind without monitoring them, then you are creating by default. You become the reactive being, rather than a pro-active, pro-creative being, and life never seems to give you what you are looking for. You are perpetually disappointed, in a constant reactive state.

Deliberate creators choose how they want their life to be, and then choose thoughts that support and nurture that into being. Affirmations are a way of consciously choosing thoughts that support you in where you want to go in life. You get to decide what you want to change, and then you get to create thoughts that support what you want to create.

When you observe someone who seems to glide through life, and everything seems to be handed to them, you might think they are just lucky. Have you ever considered how their self-talk might be supporting them in creating that lucky life? We would appear lucky, too, if we chose to think in a way that supports us in achieving what they want.

Are you choosing thoughts that support you? Share your comments below.

Could Coaching Help You?


>
Is there something in your life that you’d like to change but don’t know how to go about it?

> Do you feel stuck and wonder how you can possibly get unstuck?

> Are you needing support and encouragement to move through a phase of your life?

> Have you tried using affirmations before with little or no results for your efforts?

> Do you wish you could create powerful affirmations that bring change?

If you answered yes to any of the above, coaching might just what you are looking for. Coaching is often the fastest, most efficient way to address issues that we cannot address on our own. Imagine quickly receiving the support and guidance to get where you want to go, and discovering the amazing creative power you have within yourself!?!

Affirmation Study
This year, I launched the AffirmingSpirit Affirmation Study to examine and track ways that people get the most out of their affirmations. As part of the process, I provided weekly ‘Affirmation Coaching’ for the first month, followed by monthly check-ins, to support the participants in their process of creating and crafting their own, powerful affirmations. This was the first time we had offered coaching of any kind through this site.

Much to my surprise, study participants unanimously rated the coaching as the main reason they were experiencing success with their affirmations! I began receiving requests from the volunteers and from their peers, for coaching. Several participants asked to have more frequent check-ins, as they realized the coaching was vital to their success. As it turns out, coaching has become a passion for me as I’m able to apply all I’ve learned over the past 23+ years, and I’m enjoying it as much as those who are appreciating their amazing results.

What is Affirmation Coaching?
In the last section, I used the term ‘Affirmation Coaching’ in quotes because it really does not fully explain what I offer. At the beginning, someone may be interested in developing some great affirmations of their own, but in order to succeed they have to first release negative thoughts that have kept them stuck. In that process, depending on their situation, a single coaching client could be discussing life issues, business issues, spiritual issues, or a combination of all 3. Most often, I’ve personally experienced the same block as the client, so I can share first-hand what worked for me and why. This helps them see that they aren’t alone.

In addition, through coaching, I discovered that I am highly intuitive—feeling and sensing precisely the solution that will benefit each person. Since I do not limit you on what you are allowed to desire, the coaching is also unlimited. If you can imagine it, the Universe can provide it to you…as your coach, I will be your guide in that process as an unlimited intuitive resource focused on serving you.

Coaching is Neither Therapy Nor Consulting
Coaching is designed as a support for people who are ready to make changes in their life, but need guidance and encouragement along the way. During the coaching process, I track our conversations, so if it becomes obvious that you really need professional therapy, I will refer you to someone in your local area. If you are currently on prescribed medications for a mental health issue, or are seeing a mental health professional, I recommend that you complete or get stable in that process before working with a coach. That way, you are ensured to get the most from coaching.

Learn More
If you have some goals that you would like to achieve or change you would like to experience, and you are ready to benefit from a different perspective, visit the site for more information about coaching. Once, there, feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

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