Have You Been Stoking the ‘Need’?

Are you Stoking the NEEDYears ago, I knew someone who used to call me every few hours insisting that she ‘needed me’ to solve the crisis-of-the-moment. In reality, none of these crises actually existed, except in this person’s mind. Despite being fully capable of handling these crises herself, she had convinced herself that I was the *only* person who could help.

Initially, I spent copious time patiently reassuring her and answering her same questions over and over and over. Talking to her positively, encouraging her to see the bigger picture. Meanwhile, I kept wondering WHY this particular person constantly  calling with dramatic stories of needing rescue.

Then, it dawned on me.

This was a common pattern for this gal. Despite being fully qualified in many ways, she had convinced herself that she wasn’t…and that she needed others to rescue her…everyday! She was clearly carrying a story around that must have been something like:

OH, NO…I don’t think I can handle this. This is too hard! I’m not capable or smart enough to figure this out. I don’t want to be alone with this [fill in the blank problem] because there’s NO WAY I can figure it out myself. Someone else has to help me! OMG – HELP! CRISIS! DISASTER LOOMS…HELP…HELP!!!

While she unconsciously stoked the feelings of urgency, crisis, lack and ‘need’ within herself,  it was manifesting in her outer world…or, rather it appeared to her as manifesting. To me, she seemed to be anticipating problems more than actually experiencing them. Law of Attraction was lining her up with experiences that would make her right.  How we show up in the world reflects our self-talk and deepest inner beliefs.

As I type this, and reflect back on this time in my life, this person was also a mirror for me to see my own ‘need to rescue’. Since like vibrations cohere, Law of Attraction was responding to my need by lining me up with someone who needed to be rescued.

In the beginning, I was happy to be of assistance. But over time, it was no longer fun for me to interact with this friend only in this way. In fact, it was downright exhausting and it was not a functional friendship since I was only called to put out fires, not to relate as a friend.

Do you recognize yourself in either of these examples?

If you like this experience, by all means, keep creating it! If you don’t then in order for Law of Attraction to deliver something different, you have to be willing to shift your energy. That sounds tricky, but it’s not as difficult as you might think.

First, start telling a different story. Even if it’s just a softer version of the story you’ve been telling yourself, begin anew. This friend might have started by shifting her self-talk to something like, I usually like to have help, but I am a capable adult…I wonder how much of this I can resolve on my own. If I can’t figure it out by [date], then I will ask around. Then, taking any actions that she felt guided to take that aligned with the new story.

If telling the new story feels too hard, or brings up lower energies of fear, worry, and doubt, it can be helpful to use a tool like EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to address those feelings and begin to clear them before you start telling a new story.

The new story I actually told myself to shift out of this experience was I appreciate and cultivate healthy, functional friendships with kind people who are capable and helpful. Abraham has said, when we shift our own energy, our experience must shift in response. In fact, other people may meet us in the new vibration, or they may vibrate right out of our experience. In this particular situation, the person seemed to magically stop calling me, and eventually we lost touch. As I let go of the ‘need to rescue’, this person may have lost the need for help or may have connected with someone else who ‘needed to rescue’.

Second, remember times in your past when you exhibited capability. Chances are, you have many, but may not give them much mental attention. Change that now…close your eyes, remember those times, and feel how it feels in your body. Remember this feeling so you can call it up when feeling capable is desired.

Third, look without attachment for evidence that your new story is materializing. In other words, release attachment but allow the evidence to reveal itself to you.

Finally, practice. The next time you are feeling needy, remember this is a golden opportunity to practice a new vibration. Practice makes perfect, so remember the new story and implement it. Call up the memories from the past, and remember the evidence all around you.

Got an experience with this? Share your story in the comments below…



It All Started with My Crockpot

I swear it was the Crockpot that started it all!!!

a170holidayglowTwo weeks ago, I thought momentarily about decorating my house for the holidays, but I just couldn’t do it. I wasn’t *feeling it*. No energy. No desire. No inspiration. I don’t know why, but I felt this way last year, too.

Every time I thought about it, I just felt, “Nah…”

Both this year and last, I just made a decision to be OK with not decorating and feeling totally uninspired about the holidays. I let go of expectations and demands that no longer fit.

Of course, last year, after making peace I found myself spontaneously inspired to decorate anyway a few weeks before Christmas.

Making peace can have that affect. It’s OK if you don’t, and it’s OK if you do…so either way, whatever actions you take are more likely to be from a place of inspiration rather than *shoulds*.

And the same thing happened this year. Today, in fact! Readers of this blog know I’ve written a lot about inspired action. What happened today was clearly inspired action! When I get down to it, though, it actually started earlier in the week with my Crockpot.

On Tuesday, I started reminiscing about years past when I’ve baked liqueur cakes (Grand Marnier, Rum, Amaretto, Kahlua, etc.) for the holidays. The more I thought about them, more I kept thinking about them. Law of attraction just kept bringing me more of the same thoughts…while making me hungry for a liqueur cake…the kind soaked in a butter rum sauce or amaretto syrup. Being that I don’t drink alcohol (doesn’t taste good to me and I don’t like hangovers), my alcohol stays securely in the cupboard unless there is a cake to be baked.

By Thursday, I was on an obsessive roll with the liqueur cake idea at the same time that I wasn’t feeling the love for the work involved. I just wasn’t getting a “Hell, YES!”…that was, until, I remembered my Crockpot! I have a special insert pan that lets me bake bread and cakes inside my crockpot. Immediately, I grabbed my cookbook and located a suitable pound cake recipe that I could poke holes into so it could soak up the buttered rum. Mmmmmmm….

I looked at my watch. I had about 30 minutes before my next Quantum MasterMind call, and I suddenly felt *sparked*: That burst of energy that coincides with an inspired idea! I was primed for inspired action. In less than 3 minutes, I had the crockpot, all the ingredients, and the cookbook on my counter. Twenty minutes later, I had the cake batter in the crockpot, set the temperature to high, and began cleaning up the kitchen.

By the time that Quantum Mastermind call was done, so was my cake! I poked holes all over the cake, and while it was still piping hot,  I quickly melted the butter and sugar together, then stirred in the rum and nutmeg. The sweet warm liquid was poured over the hot cake so it could soak it all up. Within two hours of my call finishing, I was sitting down enjoying a piece of delicious, warm Butter Rum cake with a bit of whipped cream…

And by end of day on Saturday, two days later, my Christmas tree was up, and my whole house was fully decorated for the holidays! And believe me, no one is more surprised about this chain of events than me! Seriously. Two weeks ago, and even two days ago, I would never have predicted that my Crockpot would lead me gently toward inspired action on getting into the holiday spirit.

Sometimes inspired action happens in a moment, and sometimes it creeps up on you like that! It starts out on Tuesday with a random thought that snowballs, and by Saturday, you don’t know what came over you. When you’re in the Vortex taking action, you’ll not only accomplish everything much faster, but the results will be far better.

Is there something that you feel you should do for your business, but you haven’t been *feeling it*? At some point, every business owner experiences this. From my experience, the best ting you can do is make peace with not feeling it, let go of expectations, and take no action except from the place of, “OH, YES!”. Know that when, or IF, you do finally feel inspired to take action, the results will always turn out so much better than if you had forced yourself when you weren’t feeling any inspiration.

Now it’s your turn: Do you have a surprising story of inspired action? Share with us below…

Crafting Your JOY List

So…you’ve decided what you truly desire. With your clear vision, you’ve set your intent, connected your mental image with the related heart-felt emotion, and can feel that your request has been granted.

Now what?

Well, now it’s up to the Universe to deliver it to you. The trouble is, often whether or not you have wanted something (person, thing, or experience) for a long time, or you really-reeeaaallly-REEEAAALLY NEEEED it as soon as possible, there is often such a strong emotional charge to receiving that we are actually unconsciously blocking the very thing we say we want.

That emotional charge is sometimes referred to as resistance. It comes in a variety of flavors, including but not limited to: neediness, anxiety, worry, frustration, irritation, and flat-out desperation. At worst, you begin immediately assuming that what you want is impossible, which triggers a feeling of heartache.

Buddhists suggest that you ‘let go of the attachment to the desire’. While I understand the concept they are advocating, I personally find it *very difficult* to suddenly stop wanting the very thing that I really-reeeaaallly-REEEAAALLY believe I want or need. To me, it’s like saying, you know that itch that’s driving you crazy~the one that is driving you WILD right now? Don’t scratch it. Whatever you do, DON’T scratch that itch!

Being OK with NOT getting something you really want, or worse, are in dire NEED of, is a huge mental shift. While I do believe it’s doable, I leave that particular technique to those more evolved souls who rival Christ Jesus and Buddha.

In my experience, at my level of consciousness, it’s a WHOLE lot easier and more efficient to just go do something FUN! Seriously. When you are doing something fun, you are usually more relaxed, breathing deeper, maybe even smiling or laughing, and you almost always are thinking about something else besides your worries and fears. As you relax, breathe, smile and laugh, you are also raising your vibration…all of which contribute to manifesting faster!

As I explained in my article, Getting Out of the How Business, I needed the help of my kitty cat to shift my energy into a better feeling place. It was worth that shift: Hours later, my desire showed up. We often need help to step into a better feeling place, and if you know this, you’ll feel better about seeking that help.

To facilitate this, I have created my own JOY LIST~ my ever-evolving go-to list of experiences that I know always lift me up when I need a little help in feeling better.

My list looks like this:
> Hang out with my kitty cats (any beloved pet will do nicely)

A friends puppy with the stuff toy I bought for him.

A friend’s puppy with the little stuffed hedgehog toy I bought for him.

> Spend time with children or loved ones (who are in a good mood and won’t discuss my creation process)

> Doing something with friends, like go for a drive or watch a movie (making a point not to discuss my creation process)

> Get out into nature (go for a walk or hike, picnic in a nearby park)

> Certain music (including *singing* certain songs like Zippity-Doo-Dah or I Can See Clearly Now)

> Exercise (moving my body’s energy)

> Other creative endeavors I enjoy: painting, drawing, baking, etc.

Don’t have a pet? Visit sites like Catster.com & Dogster.com for a quick pet-video fix.

These are in no particular order, although I find hanging out with my pets to be very effective mood shifter. It’s important to remember you are getting your mind off your desire, as you would if you *knew* what you wanted was already a done deal. I don’t have to do all of the things on the list at the same time. Each one of them does the job, depending on how I am feeling.

Once I’ve relaxed and feel better, and depending on the day or time, I often get inspired ideas to take action. Sometimes that means taking a nap (how’s THAT for inspired action!?!). It’s amazing how many times I have woken up from a nap to discover that what I wanted had manifested perfectly while I was napping!

Have you crafted a JOY LIST? If not, write one out and put it near your computer or bathroom mirror so you’ll know where to find it when you need it.

Already have a list? What’s on your JOY LIST? It’s your turn to share your stories and comments below

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