Finding Value in What You Offer

value

On Monday, I led a Business and Career call for Good Vibe University on the topic of Making Money Doing What You Love (Become a GVU member so you can have access to the recording.).

One of the questions on the call was, “How do we find value in the work we do?”

Since their work comes so easily to them, many creatives struggle to find the value in their art, music, dance, etc. They fail to see how much non-creatives value their fresh perspectives. Creatives open minds as well as hearts, inspiring and uplifting others.

Likewise, healers struggle to articulate the value of their offerings. Healers help those who cannot help themselves, often teaching new ideas about well-being along the way.

Just because what you do feels ‘easy’ for you doesn’t mean it has no value. In fact, the ease you feel is more likely an indication of your calling, and therefore, an even greater value to others.

If we’re unaware of our own value, it’s time to cultivate it…

    • Focus on past successes – One of the ways I was able to find value was to remember all the successes I had experienced in the past, from school, college, and all the jobs I held prior to starting my business. The last job I had before I started my design business was very similar, so I was able to find many examples. Make a list of the ways you’ve been of value to others, whether as an employee, self-employed, or as a volunteer.
    • Track appreciation – If you haven’t already started a warm-fuzzy file of positive remarks from bosses, co-workers, or clients, this is a good time to start one. You could also add it to your daily work journal. Find a way to start tracking the positive comments and responses all around you. What you focus on will expand, including the positive comments from others. In the process, you’ll begin to see your own value.
    • Go within and FEEL it – Whether you’re just starting out or have been in business for decades, one thing all of us can do is…get quiet, go within, connect with Source, and FEEL our intrinsic value. All of us have a unique gift that only we can offer the world, which means we ALL have value, if we’re willing to see and feel it. For some it’s how they interact with people or objects, while others are exceptionally good at communicating, or creating something new from scratch. By going within and dwelling on what makes us unique, we prime ourselves to become more aware of and capable of expressing our value.
    • Affirm it every day – You’ve heard me say that EVERYTHING we think, speak, and write is an affirmation. We are either affirming what we want, or the opposite. (HINT: If you don’t want what you are thinking, speaking, or writing to be true, then it’s a clue that you’re creating what you don’t want.) Create your own unique and powerful affirmations. Affirm your value, affirm your skills, affirm your uniqueness, affirm your capabilities, affirm what you like about yourself. The more you affirm about yourself, the more your subconscious is impressed with the message and begins finding ways to mirror the affirmations back to you.

Affirmations work really well for right-brain dominant creatives. However, left-brain dominant analytical thinkers often struggle with affirmations. For the latter group, I recommend Afformations – affirmative questions, such as: “Why do my clients find me/my services so valuable?” “Why am I so unique and capable?” Why am I so skilled and appreciated?”

    • Keep your ‘Value Pipeline’ filled – The Universe is a BIG YES MACHINE, mirroring back whatever we believe about ourselves. Any of the tools mentioned above can help you get in touch with your own value. When you look for proof of past successes, track your existing successes, cultivate the feeling of value within, and affirm it (and/or afform it) regularly, your value will be mirrored back to you.

Once your pipeline is primed, and you are feeling your value, a lot of people stop…they get sidetracked…their connection to their value dips, and they have to start all over again. Prime your Value Pipeline and keep adding successes, meditating on your intrinsic value, and affirming. When contrast comes along, you’ll find the primed pipeline helps support you emotionally, and makes you mentally stronger.

Are there other ways that you have been able to feel the value in the work you do? Share them with us below in the comments…

Image credit: rangizz

Deciding To Embrace Change

change

[This article was previously published on AffirmingSpirit.com. It has been revised and updated for the enjoyment of blog-readers.]

Recently, I wrote an article about the incredible power of decision, about how just deciding what you want can create the opportunities for that creation to appear in your life. Our decisions, whether conscious or unconscious, align us with the vibrational equivalents for opportunities and actions. In this post, I’m inviting you to consider whether you’ve made, or are ready to make, the decision to change what isn’t working in your life.

To Decide or Not to Decide: Is CHANGE the Question?

A few months ago, during a coaching session, the client brought up three experiences that were upsetting her. To her, these experiences were unrelated, but they all frustrated her. As I listened, I could hear the common thread in what she was saying: All three of her experiences reflected that she felt unappreciated for her hard work, and in some cases, disrespected by people around her.

When I brought this to her attention, she was surprised as she had not seen the commonality in her experience until that moment. I told her the good news is that she could decide to change right there, right that minute while we were talking. All she had to do was embrace the decision to change. She could begin by creating positive self-talk affirmations such as

I am respected and appreciated by everyone around me, and I respect and appreciate myself!

I allow others to respect me, and show it in positive ways!

Everyone I interact with treats me with respect and appreciation!

It’s Easier to Change Than Remain Suffering

The gal I was coaching was ready to make a change. She had reached a point where she no longer wanted to experience those same frustrations, and she recognized a long-standing pattern in her life that needed to change if she was going to move forward.

So, she embraced these new affirmations immediately, saying them with conviction and belief that she was already creating what she wanted. Within 24 hours, she reported noticing respectful and appreciative behavior all around her…particularly from the people she previously felt were not behaving that way!

Her discovery? What she wanted was all around her as soon as she was open to seeing it. While she was convinced that others were disrespectful, that is how she perceived others’ behavior and that is what showed up for her. As soon as she changed her focus, what she perceived and experienced changed as well.

When we talked afterward, she shared that making this shift in perception helped her to appreciate life so much more than before she had reached out for help during coaching. That comment made it clear to me that choosing to make positive changes is far more rewarding than staying in suffering. Our egos will convince us that change is not possible…it’s too difficult…it can’t be done…it’s better to stay where you are. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Changing is really easier than most people think, and it starts by making the decision to change.

Are You Ready for Change?

In the above example, if she had not been ready to change, she wouldn’t have been able to do the affirmations with feeling and would not have seen any changes. She may even have found excuses why she didn’t have time or energy to say the affirmations…or kept forgetting to say them. This is just resistance to change. Most people think change will be too painful, but the truth is NOT changing is often more painful.

How do you know you are ready for change? You can feel it. You know you are ready when you realize what you are experiencing is not working for you, when you are open to suggestions for shifting (like saying affirmations), when you can feel your life could be better and you are no longer willing to repeat the same mistakes. You can feel it inside yourself that it’s time…and, if you aren’t sure you can do it by yourself, you begin considering reaching out for help.

Likewise, when you aren’t ready, you’ll find all kinds of excuses to not reach out for help. Suddenly, you’ll create tons of reasons that tell you, “now isn’t the right time”. Follow what feels best to you, and you will take action when it’s the right time for you.

This is Your Life: There’s No Wrong Answer

Keep in mind that there is no wrong answer when it comes to your life. If you are choosing to stay where you are, that is because it is right for what you need to experience in this moment. As soon as you are ready to embrace change, you will find the help you need and begin taking appropriate steps.

In the meantime, love and accept yourself for who you are and how wonderful your life really is!

Image Credit: Composite by Barry-Jansson & Associates,

created from separate images by CZANY and jannoon028.

Business ThanksGiving

Business ThanksGiving

ThanksGiving in the United States is on Thursday, and a tradition based on celebrating appreciation for all our blessings.

Business ThanksGiving

Many business owners take stock at this time of year to be thankful for all the good things that happened in their business during the previous year. They are thankful for their clients/customers, their increased sales and business expansion, while they thank their lucky stars for challenges they side-stepped.

While that’s wonderful, and highly recommended, this year I encourage your Business ThanksGiving to include…

Appreciating all that did not happen. Many of the worst case scenarios swimming around between your ears never saw the light of day. Some of the things you wanted to happen didn’t. Thank goodness! From your vantage point now, you can see the blessings in disguise. Take some time to appreciate the gift of not getting what you asked for.

Feeling appreciative of every client who didn’t hire you or that you didn’t take on, every customer who didn’t buy from you. In our quest to grow our businesses, we tend to want to take on every client, sell to every customer, but is that always the best idea? Virtually every business owner will tell you there are clients they wish they could fire, and customers they wish they never met. Focusing on the customers and clients you really appreciate working with makes your business more enjoyable. Let the other customers and clients go to people who enjoy working with them. There’s plenty to go around!

Finding warmth in your heart for ways your business did not expand. We live in the land of bigger is BETTER, yet more companies go out of business when they grow too fast than when they intentionally and gradually grow. Feel good about your business being exactly the size that it is right now.

Appreciating all you’ve learned through hardship. Virtually every business owner I know has had their share of harship, and on the other side of it, with some emotional recovery, they see the blessing and knowledge gained from the experience. Not that they want to do it everyday, but we can learn from failure and hardship, and the lesson often lasts longer than if learned through glory. (Wouldn’t that be nice to shift?)

Feeling gratitude for all being a business owner teaches you. Being self-employed is one of the most spiritually challenging experiences in life because it will bring up ALL your *stuff*…even the stuff you thought you’d already worked on! Thank goodness for that. Thank goodness for everything you’ve learned this year, and all that you will learn in the coming year.

Myth About Law of Attraction

But, wait, Nancy…

If I focus on what didn’t happen, who didn’t hire me, how my business didn’t expand, all I learned through hardship, won’t the Law of Attraction bring me more of that?

No. In fact, that’s actually one of the myths about the Law of Attraction!

The Law of Attraction means that like frequencies are naturally drawn to each other. When you truly feel appreciation for anything, you are sending out a high frequency of appreciation/love, and the Law of Attraction will mirror back to you like-frequencies of appreciation/love. LOA is mirroring back your energy, not just the content of your thoughts.

This is because LOA doesn’t care if you are thinking positively or negatively about a thought…the feeling of the response received is based on the emotion you are feeling. As you change your feelings, you also change your experience.

That’s one reason why we can stress out and overthink while trying to solve business problems, but as soon as we relax, a good solution pops into our mind! The solution is not the same frequency as the problem. Thinking repetitively and under stress rarely brings us good solutions. Relaxing and getting to a better feeling place does.

When we are willing to observe and appreciate even the challenging aspects of running a business, it releases our resistance to challenges. This helps us relax and align us with more to appreciate in our business.

From that point on, you won’t be looking at your business challenges in the same way...you’ll discover appreciation for all the good things AND the not-so-good things. Because there are blessings in everything, if we’re willing to look for them.

So, I invite you to take some time this ThanksGiving to appreciate all aspects of your business, and let us know how that felt for you!

Wishing you a wonderful ThanksGiving, filled with much appreciation for your family, your life, and your business!

Why Your Creative or Healing Business is Not Growing

WhyBizNotGrowing

Many of my mentoring clients are creative and/or healing professionals who feel spiritually *called* to their work—it feels like their life’s purpose. They are drawn to me because they want to find a way to do their heart work while also making a good living.

Creative and healing professionals often have their craft at the forefront of their business radar—none would have considered opening their doors if they didn’t feel they offered a valuable service. In fact, the number one reason creative and healing professionals do not officially start their businesses is a fear that they are ‘not good enough, yet’.

These professionals spend an enormous amount of time making sure they have something of value to offer, and constantly improving those offerings.

What often takes a back seat to the honing of their craft or skill, though, is the actual Sales and Marketing for their business. It’s true. S&M (Sales and Marketing) are often viewed as torturous. Not only do these skills not come easy to these professionals, there are often a lot of bad-feeling stories and judgment wrapped around the idea of sales and marketing, as well as other essential business success functions like hiring a support team. I’m talking about the kind of bad-feeling stories and judgment that keeps people stuck where they are, never able to move forward.

When Our Stories And Judgments Hold Us In Limbo
Amy (name changed for privacy) feels called to her work as a massage therapist who incorporates sound healing, and often refers to it as her ‘heart work’. Performing her work fulfills her deeply and she cannot see herself NOT doing this work.

However, Amy has been struggling for the last few years to get her business off the ground and actually growing. See if you can tell from Amy’s stories why her business is not growing…

• “I hate having to sell or promote my business.”
• “UGH…Marketing feels like busy work—so much to do, for no results.”
• “No one can afford my fees—and I cannot afford to drop my fees any farther.”
• “It’s pretty much impossible to make a living doing my heart work!”
• “I highly doubt people making money doing this work are ethical. I don’t know how they can possibly be making any money!”
• “I’m not willing to be a sell-out like others, in order to be successful in my work.”

In addition to focusing on what she hates about her business, Amy has already decided people cannot afford her services, and she negatively judges others who manage to make money in her field.

These stories and judgments are woven into nearly every conversation Amy has, and despite understanding the power of energy, these are also woven into Amy’s own mental self-talk. In fact, her stories are now so embedded into her being (she’s been telling them so long), the minute she sees her business cards or equipment, she physically feels the negative impact in her body.

Professional colleagues who encounter Amy find themselves feeling drained after speaking with her, so they make excuses not to interact. No one is mentioning her business to potential clients.

Family and friends, who say they want to support Amy, instead, find themselves commiserating with just how *difficult* it must be to start and run a successful business. This only reinforces what Amy already believes to be true.

Creative and healing professionals who have both an inner calling to do their life’s work while simultaneously holding bad-feeling stories and judgments that prevent them from growing their business or being financially successful are their own worst enemies.

That disconnect between their calling and their stories/judgments that undermines their calling creates energetic resistance, keeping business growth and success forever at bay in a state of suspension. Never growing. Never thriving. Always pain-filled. Frustrating. Exhausting.

Sound familiar?

It Matters How You Start and Nurture Your Business
When I began working with Amy, I helped her see how she had actually started her business with the doubt, bad-feeling stories and judgments in place. Then, when her business began to reflect those stories and judgments back to her, she labeled what she observed as the ‘reality’ of her failing business.

Once she had observed and labeled the failure, she was never able to imagine something better because ‘reality’ (aka ‘what is’) was always staring her in the face. She literally set the groundwork for her business to fail before she started and then she nurtured the failure, not the success.

Whenever Amy had tried to set her observed ‘reality’ aside for a moment, to imagine something better for her business, she had plenty of people around her happy to remind her of ‘reality’. Her husband and parents, attempting to be helpful, were particularly relentless in suggesting that Amy give up on her dream, and just get a reliable 9-to-5 job. (For the record, not following your heart work is soul-crushing, and a fast-track to depression and loss of self-esteem.)

Abraham-Hicks often talks about the importance of only focusing on ‘what is’ if we ENJOY ‘what is’. Otherwise, they tell us we have to be willing to look beyond it in order to grow:

As others insist that you look at “reality,” they are influencing you to be rooted to this spot like a tree. As long as you are seeing only what-is, you cannot grow beyond it. You must be allowed to see what you want to see if you will ever attract what you want to see. Attention to what-is only creates more of what-is.

(excerpt, The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham, pg 190)

Looking beyond ‘what-is’ is a skill well worth developing as a business owner. Successful business owners know this. Children practice this every day as they play using their imaginations. They suspend their disbelief that their playmate is not really a cowboy and they are not really a pirate. They toss a piece of fabric around their backs and call it a cape, and strike the Super Man pose with true conviction.

In that moment…they ARE what they imagine themselves to be. They FEEL the power of their imaginations, and they revel in the joy of it.

As adults, we can benefit greatly from brushing off our childhood skills of suspending disbelief and imagining something fun in our professional life.

Brain science has already proven that the subconscious mind does not know the difference between our real observations, our memories, or our imagination. The subconscious is moving forward, choosing opportunities and experiences based on how you feel. If you start a business with stories of doubt, fear, and judgment of those who are successful, the feeling is probably not very good—and neither will be the results.

Getting Help To Succeed
Amy hired me when she needed someone dedicated to seeing her succeed, willing to guide her through the maze to turn her business around from the ground up. First, she had to consciously choose to wipe the slate clean on her business, create her business anew from a better-feeling place while releasing her judgments. Then, she had to be willing to actively nurture her own success as one would lovingly tend a garden. As a result, Amy discovered a new-found interest in sales and marketing on her own terms, in a way that was fun and invigorating for her. The result is a thriving business with a lot less frustration, and a MUCH happier business owner!

What are you willing to do to grow your creative or healing business? Share your better-feeling stories in the comments below…

Image credit: Ion Chiosea

Q&A: Help Me Fix this Nightmare Business Partnership!

BadPartnership_croppedToday, I have a Q&A to share. The question is long and the response is, too, but bear with me if you are in a similar situation. My intention is that it helps the questioner and many others.

As many of you know, while I support many people with my AffirmingSpirit teaching and mentoring, those who are most likely to hire me are creative and healing business professionals. I field questions on an on-going basis, and like to share those that could apply to a wide range of business owners.

Today’s question is this:

I don’t know how to manifest a positive outcome. I’m trying to reframe this situation in my mind and I am having such a hard time, so here it is unfiltered:

– my husband became 50/50 partners with what we now consider to be a bad person (I honestly tried to hold a vibration that he was a good, logical and reasonable person and truly feel that I was creating resistance by not accepting “what is” at the time…)

– In an ill-attempt to save money, they never hired a lawyer to formally draw up their contract, so the only thing that proves they were 50/50 owners is how they have run the business the last 8 years (which I do feel adequately proves that)

– in January, they verbally agreed on a buyout settlement amount where his business partner would pay my husband for his 50% of the business (this was an incredibly conservative and reasonable number that a trusted 3rd party came to based on company valuations that we agreed to because we wanted to get the hell away from him and his bad vibes).

– After this buyout settlement, we sold our home and moved 3hrs away, going into significant debt to make it all happen…all while waiting for the buyout to complete (it was never expected to not be settled by March-April timeframe)

– Since then, his business partner has dropped the amount and keeps adding bills/fees to the equation (which of course even further lowers the amount)

– As of last night, he now literally wants us to PAY HIM to take full ownership of the company. I literally can’t think straight because I cannot even begin to comprehend what is going on in his mind. This was a thriving business mind you, and my husband already transitioned his clients over to the business partner in good faith.

I just feel all the wrong things right now. I’m angry, I’m frustrated, I feel like he is trying to royally screw us and I guess I am just wondering…if this were you, if you found yourself in this situation, how would you manifest a positive outcome?

Most business owners will admit that, at one time or another, they’ve had an experience where they “trusted someone” in relation to their business and the situation did not work out as they thought it would. Now in my 21st year in business, I am no exception to this.

However, as a business teacher and mentor, my job is not to commiserate with you, but to help you gain a new, more helpful, perspective. So here is my take on this question, which could apply to many business owners who have an on-going issue with business partners or vendors or clients, or all of the above.

• First, I’d like to invite you to imagine that this situation, in all its drama and he-said/she said, is actually a HUGE BLESSING in your life and your business. Are you willing to open the door to that possibility, even if you don’t exactly see how to get there right now? If not, then go relax and come back when you can.

As someone who has been through this process many times, I can guarantee you this situation (and this person who is involved) is a wonderful gift—even if you cannot see that right now. When you’re ready, let’s see how that could be so…

• Secondly, it’s good in these red-hot moments to remember: Nothing is ever set in stone. Whatever we’ve created, we can re-create, because energy is always responding to our intentions. This is true for everything, including our businesses. We can conjure new emotions, new attitudes, new perspectives that replace the old ones, and we can practice the new long enough that the old begins to fade away from our experience.

If you and your husband are willing to take the time to heal the underlying issue that created this and work together to create a new, more empowering outcome for all involved, this could be one of the experiences that improves both your relationship and your financials moving forward.

Let’s begin looking at the question itself: The first point that stood out for me is the mention of the business partner long being considered a ‘bad person’.

Conscious business owners understand that everything is energy, and that the Universe is always mirroring back what we send out via people, situations, and events. We call this mirroring effect “The Law of Attraction”. Catherine Ponder calls it the Law of Radiation and Attraction, to explain the energetic round trip.

Situations like this are the way a business owner shifts from the mainstream business of “us against them” world, to being a conscious business owner who understands the role of energy in creating results.

Whenever we observe something we don’t like, and label it (in this case: business partner is a ‘bad person’), that label and the energy behind it becomes the *signal* that we are sending out to the Universe. The label is, itself, a repetitive affirmation!!! The Universe can only mirror back to us what we send out.

What kind of mirror can Universe provide if you’ve decided that the other party is a ‘bad person’? That’s right: Universe will show you ALL the ways that it’s possible for the other party to behave badly! Sounds to me like your affirmation of ‘bad person’ has been working like a dream! (And to think people tell me they can’t get affirmations to work for them…yet they forget about all the negative affirmations they are using that overpower the positive ones!)

Remember, the Law of Attraction always makes us *right* by mirroring back to us energetically what we are sending out. Is now the time to begin sending out a different signal?

This is also how a conscious business owner discovers what energy they are REALLY sending out. Issues with business partners, vendors, and/or clients is just *information*…letting you know where your energy is coming from on this subject. Change your energy, and the world around you must shift. By law (of attraction), it must.

Ignoring this information, or blaming the other party, makes you a victim and shuts down your ability to take control and create something different. You’ll remain in deadlock until you energetically regain your power by taking ownership and taking the next-steps.

In my experience with this, the initial *sting* of taking responsibility is soon followed by a deeper understanding of why I created this experience (usually to heal a previous trauma) and then, surprisingly (!) a deep appreciation for the other parties involved for helping me *see and heal* the previous trauma. In the end, taking responsibility is freeing and leads to many good things.

• The Questioner wrote: I honestly tried to hold a vibration that he was a good, logical and reasonable person and truly feel that I was creating resistance by not accepting “what is” at the time…

Is it possible that the real source of the resistance was labeling and affirming this business partner as a ‘bad person’ while simultaneously choosing to feel good about them?

This is not about ignoring what is…as ‘what is’ is only an energetic reflection of what you’re sending out. What you are describing is actually a great real-life example of counter-intentions: Affirming one thing (‘bad person’) while simultaneously trying to force yourself to feel good about this business partner. The energies are at cross-purposes, splitting your energy, leaving you feeling the resistance. Until you pick a side and commit to that, your split energy will create a feeling of resistance within.

• The next few segments of the question focus around the legal issues. I won’t comment directly on those, except to ask a question…

What would cause us to choose to put ourselves and our businesses in a situation that could make us vulnerable in the future?

This is an important question because it might actually help us understand how this situation is really a blessing! If you cannot answer this question immediately, then just hold it lightly, as we continue to move forward. The answer will come to you, when you are ready.

As I see it, both you and your husband have an opportunity to heal yourselves, improve the situation, and strengthen your own partnership through this situation. Are you beginning to see how, then, this situation is really a gift for both of you?

• The Questioner wrote: …all while waiting for the buyout to complete (it was never expected to not be settled by March-April timeframe)

In this next part of the question, it sounds to me as if you and your husband took some calculated risks based on the decisions you had made with your business partner…aka the ‘bad person’. Calculated risks are common for business owners. The energy behind calculated risks is more important than the actions themselves. Like any part of life, if you are more vibrationally aligned with your intentions, the actions taken will likely result in a positive outcome.

The good news is that it’s never too late to become vibrationally aligned!!!

So, now that you’ve created and repetitively affirmed the ‘bad person’ business partner, and the Universe is lovingly mirroring that back to you, showing you how many ways they can be bad…was the risk of moving and starting over calculated from a place of empowerment…or from fear and ‘we’ve got to get away from this bad person?

I don’t know about you, but having my entire financial future resting on the completion of the buyout, that I never set up legally, could potentially put me in a place of desperation, victimization, with a strong attachment to the outcome in a specific timeframe.

• The Questioner wrote: I literally can’t think straight -and- I just feel all the wrong things right now. I’m angry, I’m frustrated, I feel like he is trying to royally screw us

These statements (affirmations) are another clue about your vibe…and of course, when your vibe is low, you will NOT be able to think straight. No one can. It’s physically impossible for the brain to function clearly when our vibration is that low. So, when you feel this way, don’t even try to find solutions because you are not vibrationally in the vicinity to receive them.

Go find a way to relax. Take a walk. Take a nap. Take a hot, aromatherapy bath. Cuddle with your pet(s) or children. Call a friend and get your mind off the ‘problem’ for a while. Do whatever it takes for you to find a better feeling place on this subject.

For what it’s worth, when I feel like this, a nap is often the fastest and most efficient way of releasing the energetic kink. Before I drift off to sleep, I’ll invoke ‘Easy World’ by stating, “I live in Easy World where everything is easy, including creating the best possible outcome for (fill in the blank).” Many times, when I wake up after doing this prior to a nap, I am in a much more clear space to think how I’d prefer to experience this outcome.

If this were me, this is how I would re-create this situation:

I’d start reframing this situation by having my husband and myself acknowledge our individual roles in creating the situation, because that is the place where your power to shift the energy resides. Until you do, you remain victims.

I’d remind myself that…

Abraham tells us that the greater part of us, our Inner Being, will only side with the viewpoint of Source Energy. Source sees love and appreciation in every situation. Source know the blessings abound, even in the midst of what we perceive as contrast. So anytime we are focusing in a way that Source Energy would not perceive a situation, it leaves us feeling the negative discord between our viewpoint and that of Source Energy.

…and ask myself how Source might view this situation, and how I might be able to see it the same, someday soon.

Healing Past Traumas
To heal whatever allowed us to set up a situation like this, I’d have my husband and I do the following exercise on our own…and compare notes afterward.

This is experiential, so don’t just read it. Do the following in this order…

1. Put your hand on your heart, and take your conscious, thinking energy (hovering around your brain) inside your body to the area around your heart.

2. Ask yourself how this entire situation feels emotionally to you. The descriptive words are less important than the actual physical feeling. Fully allow yourself to feel that feeling in your body.

3. With the feeling in your body, ask: “When was the first time that I felt this feeling?”

4. Usually, an immediate answer will come to you. If it doesn’t, stay with the feeling and the question until you know. Don’t be surprised if tears of relief show up upon realizing the emotional connection.

5. Once you remember the situation that felt the same, ask yourself: Based on what I know now, how could I *see this previous trauma differently*?

Allow yourself to acknowledge that you previously did not have the skills or strength to heal this trauma until now, feel the emotional charge release, let yourself cry if tears want to flow, and internally know how you would handle it differently.

This does take some self-awareness, but any adult can do this. Often, we are only provoked into healing a past trauma when a crisis makes it necessary.

6. Know that this whole situation and the person(s) involved are here to help you heal THAT situation. Without them, you would not have had the opportunity to review this previous trauma from a more adult point of view!

(If either of you are like me, the original situation happened earlier in your life when you were either too young or too inexperienced to know how to fully process your feelings. So, those feelings became energetically stuck in your unconscious for healing at a later time. Like right now!)

7. When you feel the charge lifted, appreciation is often the result. Silently surround the situation and parties involved with white light and love, then thank all involved for showing up ‘as the bad guy’ so that you could review this earlier life trauma from a more enlightened, conscious point of view. Feel the appreciation in your heart and stay with it as long as it feels good.

(This is the point where I often feel DEEP appreciation and am humbled that someone would be willing to play the ‘bad guy’ role in order for me to heal. Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage,” and I see us as the writer, director, and primary actor of our whole life, with others playing the supporting roles. Also, I see this as a HUGE blessing…how about you?)

Now is a good time for you and your husband to share your discoveries with each other. You may each be surprised that the emotional trauma was different for each of you, but they still *brought up emotions that needed to be healed* in relation to this situation.

In the past, when I’ve done this process, I’ve discovered parts of me that felt unheard or unappreciated or unsafe. The moment that I was able to connect emotionally to a past trauma, I realized that the current ‘crisis’ was not about the other person, it’s ENTIRELY about me recreating past trauma!

Nothing ‘out there’ can ever hurt us. Our true source of suffering is our faulty beliefs we have going on inside of us. A Course In Miracles (ACIM) tells us that the outside world is an illusion, just a reflection of the meaning we’ve applied in our inner world. When we shift our inner world, the outside illusion will also shift.

After taking responsibility and healing my past trauma, my energy becomes remarkably clear. From this space, I’d begin re-imagining the preferred outcome. (If you have not read Neville Goddard’s approach to changing the past through ‘re-visioning’, check it out in Chapter 3 of The Law and the Promise.)

This ‘re-visioning’ is an exercise that you and your husband can work on together. (Hint: If you’re stuck, start by writing everything you don’t like on separate lines, then next to each write the opposite of each item. The ‘opposite’ of contrast is pointing you toward what you prefer. Take the bounce!)

I’d also begin making a list of how this experience was a blessing, starting with:

1. The situation allowed me to acknowledge a past trauma I had forgotten
2. A chance to heal that past trauma and see it with new eyes
3. An opportunity to create something better through transformation
4. (keep adding to the list, as the blessings show up)
5.

I’d call upon the ancient Hawaiian technique of Ho’oponopono to further clear my energy around the subject, and infuse it with love and appreciation. Not only have I found this to work, but I find that it is very pleasant to experience.

Florence Scovel Shinn said something like, Divine Love is the most powerful chemical in the Universe, dissolving everything that is not of it. Wow, that’s powerful. For that reason alone, I’d find reasons to energetically flood all parties involved with Divine Love, including myself!

In my experience, when I felt that I needed to deliver a message to someone but knew they would not be open to hearing it from me, I envision them receiving the message from someone else from whom they would be able to receive the message. I don’t need to be the one to deliver it, and I don’t need to dictate who will deliver the message, as long as the message is received.

Or, I’d visualize my higher self speaking to their higher self, sharing the message from a loving and kind place.

So, I might see my business partner receiving the message that assets and liabilities are always divided equally, and that there can be no charges (liabilities) added where there are no assets also added. I’d envision that, despite the lack of a legal agreement, everyone involved chooses to be treated fairly. I’d envision this partner receiving and acknowledging that is how they would also wish to be treated, feeling encouraged to take the first steps toward correcting this situation.

Despite past appearances, or actions, I’d envision an outcome where all involved are treated fairly and honestly.

I’d envision everyone walking away with a smile and a good feeling in their heart.

I’d see the checks to pay off all debt easily being written, placed into envelopes, and mailed (or see myself paying off the debt online).

I’d feel and milk the relief of having all the debt paid off, and knowing that the energy is cleared between myself and the other parties.

I’d revisit these visions and feelings every day, perhaps several times a day, and every time I thought about this person or situation, I’d review my list of blessings until I felt an emotional shift. Then, in this better-feeling place, I’d revisit the positive outcome visions again.

I’d milk all the positive emotions in other aspects of life and business. Despite how we might feel like everything is going to hell in a hand-basket, the truth is that often 80-90% of our life is going really well. We’ve just been focusing on the 10-20% that’s off and letting that define our life and business! Crazy-making, huh?!?

In my experience, when I’ve taken the steps above, positive shifts take place first within me, and then they are mirrored in the world outside. How long it takes depends on me, and how committed I am to the ‘new story’ and ready to let go of the old one (including those old affirmations).

Thank you very much to today’s questioner for being vulnerable enough to ask the question, and willing to let me share this publicly on the blog. I can easily imagine that this is helping them as well as many others!

Is there anything else that you would say to this questioner? If so, please take a moment to share it below in the comments…

Image credit: elisanth

Activate Your Thought Bouncer!

Bouncer_behindCurtain

Yesterday, I hosted an LOA Sales call with Good Vibe University’s resident Sales Pro. Many at GVU know Julie as a naturally upbeat and happy person, who has been successful in sales for many years. Privately, I’ve been asking Julie to do a call for GVU since 2010, knowing that many self-employed conscious creators could benefit from her suggestions and insights. You can imagine how delighted I was when we could finally schedule a call and open this conversation!

Being savvy with the principles of Law of Attraction, Julie often produces well above her peers, having learned to follow her own guidance versus traditional sales management techniques. Of course, because she’s such a top producer, management tends to let her do whatever she’s decided is best. After all, it’s working for her as well as for her employer!

In our conversation, Julie quickly pin-pointed some key requirements to tap into for anyone who is ready to build sales. Top on the list was strictly managing our own self-talk. One of Julie’s tips was to bring in a “Thought Bouncer”…to promptly bounce out the thoughts that aren’t serving us. She suggested we imagine our Thought Bouncer standing behind the red velvet rope, unwilling to let an undeserving (and under serving) thought pass through.

Her suggestion evoked the image of a humor-less being, unwilling to let anyone in that “wasn’t on the list”. I have to say, the idea just delights me!

You may recall that Abraham has said that managing our thoughts can be overwhelming and crazy-making, but when we focus on how we feel, then we can more quickly see that thoughts which do not serve us also do not feel good when we think them. That’s how we know the thought is not serving us, because if it doesn’t feel good, the outcome of that thought will also not feel good.

So, keep your Thought Bouncer on standby, ever ready for those negative feelings to trigger the thought-bouncing actions.

In this way, business owners can begin proactively taking responsibility for their thoughts and self-talk, so they can keep their focus zeroed in on the success and well-being of their business. Doing so inoculates business owners from the negative thought-forms of frustrated peers and the media.

Julie also talked about (and I second) the importance of having a positive tribe to connect with, surrounding yourself with positive, like-minded people. She is (and I am, too) very thankful to find and join Good Vibe University in 2010. As we surround ourselves with positive people who can see and support the many possibilities for success, it is not only more enjoyable, but we’ll experience the benefits of that tribe.

If you are surrounded by people complaining about the economy, how hard it is to market and sell to clients, how impossible it is to make money, not to mention the general state of the world, for the sake of your well-being and your business it’s time for your Thought Bouncer to close down that club and find a new tribe!

What do you think…are you ready to activate your Thought Bouncer? Share your thoughts below…

P.S. For those who are interested in listening to the recording of the LOA Sales call with Julie, it is available for free to Good Vibe University members. If you are not yet a member of this upbeat and positive-focused community, you can enjoy a 21 day trial for just $1. When you join, be sure to say hello!

image credits: Bouncer: Andrey Popov; Red Velvet Curtain: Deyan Georgiev

Law of Attraction and Advice: What happened?

LOA+Advice_title

Has this ever happened to you…

You are so thrilled about a product or service, in your joy, you spontaneously shared your appreciation with your friends. Then, several of those friends choose to try out the same product or service, but a certain few always end up finding fault where you only found pure joy and appreciation?

Or, conversely, have you been so inspired by a friend’s endorsement that you raced out to purchase the product or service, only to be shocked at how bad it was?

What on Earth happened?

Seriously, how could the same product or service be received in such vastly different ways?

Law of Attraction lined each person up with their dominant energy flow. Like it always does, whether we acknowledge the power of Law of Attraction in our life, or not.

Those who love the product or service are vibrationally aligned to appreciate the experience, possibly ignoring or not being bothered by aspects that would frustrate others. The dissatisfied parties are not vibrationally aligned with appreciation, possibly being unconsciously triggered by many aspects without understanding why.

As long as you are taking responsibility for your own alignment choices, all is well. Nothing ‘bad’ happened, unless you have labeled it so.

If you are finding yourself unhappy with a product or service that someone else enthusiastically referred…check your own alignment.

How are you really feeling, in general and about these products/services?

Where or when have you felt this way before?

Sitting with your feelings and answering those questions may begin to help you unravel the source so you can shed some (conscious) light upon it and begin shifting your own vibration. It’s OK to ask for help if you get stuck.

Appreciation, or lack thereof, can become a habit. Especially for people who harbor an unconscious story that ‘nothing works for me’ or ‘I never get what I want’. Until they recognize this unconscious belief and the patterns it has created, they will go through life blaming experiences and others for things not working out, or never getting what they want.

I know, because I have been one of those people.

It wasn’t until I was old enough to experience a few cycles of the same people, same situations, same disappointments that I was able to begin to recognize the common theme and the underlying emotion. As I did the work to unravel, I discovered the old stories that were running unconsciously and driving my vibration on a wide variety of topics. The good news is that if I can work through this, so can you.

So, when you hear someone enthusiastically referring a product or service, check in with yourself before taking any action. It can be so intoxicating witnessing another’s enthusiasm and appreciation that we forget to follow our own guidance.

Check in with these questions:

A. Why would I be interested or not interested?

B. Will this help me meet a need and am I really willing to receive a solution?

C. Do I harbor doubts? If so, why?

D. Does the idea of purchasing this product or service feel light and joyful to me? If not, it’s time to dig deeper.

When a solution feels fully light and joyful, that’s a good time to move forward by finding out more information. As you do, notice how you feel.

Your Emotional Guidance System is always giving you the best advice and showing you where you are on the emotional / vibrational scale. Notice how you are really feeling, emotionally and inside your body, then follow that inner guidance before taking action suggested by others. Over time, you’ll begin to feel the right answer for you the very moment you hear about a product or service.

Oh, and one more thing: Don’t be surprised if something feels off at one point in your life and later down the road, it feels just right. Your preferences do change as your consciousness grows, which is always happening, even if you are not yet aware.

 

 

Image copyright: Stuart Miles

Spring Clearing for an Energetic Boost

spring_energy_boost

For many of us in the U.S., the signs of Spring are joyfully in the air. So much of what I write about on this blog is about shifting energy through our body and thoughts, but there is a lot to be said for the things we can do to clear the physical space where we spend our time. The change of seasons is a perfect time to clear your space…your office, your home, your car, your garden!

LCMoTU_KonMariDecluttering and Organizing
Several of my Law of Attraction savvy friends are loving Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. What sets KonMari’s Method apart is her combination of quick clearing suggestions (how to let go with ease by focusing on what sparks joy) and her discussion of the energetics that ties beautifully with Law of Attraction teachings: Keep around you only items you truly love which spark true joy, and let everything else go for others to enjoy.

Shift Your Food
The change of seasons is a perfect time to start incorporating in-season local organic produce in your meals. It’s also a perfect time to consider how you’d rather be eating for your long-term health and well-being.

Three years ago, when I decided to begin eating Paleo there were a lot of people who thought I’d gone crazy. Now, after the effortless weight loss of myself and countless others, guess who are now announcing that they, too, have gone Paleo?!? (And yes, they are just as shocked as I was about how easy it is to eat this way and how great the food tastes, on top of the extra energy and effortless weight loss. Go figure!)

Exercise in the Sun
During the winter and rainy months, I tend to exercise indoors, but with the coming of Spring I am more motivated to take walks outdoor in the sunshine. Ten minutes a day of sunshine encourages the body to create Vitamin D, an essential element for mood stabilization and easing depression. You’ll breathe more deeply, release stress, and feel better just from exercising outdoors.

Whether it’s a walk in the ‘hood or a hike amid nature, our spirit is lifted out of the doldrums by just being around flowering bushes and trees, greenery, birds and squirrels. Bring your camera with you to record the feast for the eyes and turn it into a creative outing!


This is a great (easy and fun!) suggestion for energy clearing your home:

Posted by Danielle MacKinnon on Wednesday, March 25, 2015

So easy and fun…many of us probably do this instinctively. I know I tend to do this at least once every Spring, Summer, and Fall. (Nothing gets me dancing like MoTown!) Funny enough, with enough fresh air, sunshine and music flowing, the desire to clean and clear naturally comes with it.

Remember Your Car!
When was the last time you gave some TLC to your car: clean the windows inside and out, vacuum the

How Does Your Garden Grow?
With love and intention, sweep out the dead leaves from your garden hardspace and place the leaves on your dirt for a natural and efficient mulch/fertilizer. When it rains, the nutrients from the leaves will trickle down into the soil and make it healthier.

Lovingly attend to the plants, trimming them where necessary, letting them know you love them and enjoy seeing them thrive. All matter, because we are all energetically connected  because we all come from the same Source Energy, responds to our energy toward it.

It’s amazing how taking simple actions like the ones mentioned above can give us an energetic boost, lighten our mood, and open us up to new possibilities. Your turn: What are you inspired to clear energetically?

 

Top Image Credit: Gunnar Pippel

Embracing Your LOA Rituals

Embracing Your LOA Rituals

‘Tis the season when I ponder which rituals I will embrace to appreciate the old and celebrate the new.

The word ‘ritual’ has always been a loaded one for me. Being a recovering Catholic and deeply apologetic Christian, that word used to be synonymous with seriousness, control, and fear.

Let’s face it, while there are rituals that are very fear-based, that doesn’t mean all rituals must be fear-based. The good news about Law of Attraction is that you can choose, from day-to-day, year-to-year, the rituals that feel best to you.

Rituals are whatever intentions, thoughts, and/or actions that you decide to implement at certain times. We usually start them because doing so feels meaningful to us.

Meaning is what makes our rituals matter. And we are the ones who create and apply meaning to our intentions, thoughts, and actions. We get to decide what rituals we want to partake in, and what meaning we choose to give those rituals.

Some rituals are cultural (think seasonal, sports, and national pride). Some rituals are fun (trips to the beach, picnics, going to the same ice cream shop every year with friends), and some are more deep and somber, while others can be both. For instance, I love putting up lights and lighting candles during the winter holidays. Doing so feels “light” (no pun) and joyful, and yet…I’ve had some pretty deep and introspective experiences sitting quietly by the soft glow of lights and candles.

Some of us celebrate the cultural ritual of Thanksgiving by eating turkey with family and friends, while others enjoy adding gratitude lists to their yearly ritual. My son doesn’t like turkey, and it makes me very sleepy (hello, tryptophan) so when he was younger we opted instead to make Lasagna, garlic bread, and salad part of our Thanksgiving ritual. (Yes, this was my pre-Paleo days – now I’d grill grass-fed steak with some great veggies sidedishes.) While dinner was baking, we’d make our gratitude lists, and share them during our meal.

Law of Attraction experts teach many different processes that can easily be interpreted as rituals, and the more you do them the more meaningful they become. Abraham-Hicks have 22 of the most well-known LOA processes listed in their classic book, Ask and It Is Given.

We create the meaning and magic of rituals in our minds. Whatever we decide an intention, thought, and/or action will do for us, it will do first on a vibrational level then on a physical level. The more often we practice a ritual, the more meaning it will have for us.

The only right is what feels good to you and the only wrong is what feels bad or wrong to you. When a ritual stops feeling good to you, that’s the sign to choose a new ritual to embrace that feels better. Anything that feels light and opens your heart is a good one to choose.

light+openHEART_640x480At the end of the year, many people…

A. Declutter. Get rid of the old to make room for the new. Mothers might sort through their family’s clothes and donate what no longer fits. Business people often clear out old files, put new files in place. Men may clear out their garages. Women often revamp their clothes closets.

B. Make lists. Get clear on what you want to embrace and what you want to release. Express your appreciation for the past year and send thank you notes to key people. Some write out intentions for the new year. Others write out their priorities for the year ahead.

I do not recommend resolutions, though, especially if you view them as something you always fail at completing. Set yourself up for success by creating intentions to feel better about yourself and your life.

My local Unity asks us to write a letter to God asking for what we want and letting go of what no longer works, then the letters are burned (released into the energetic field). They have a separate service for selecting a white stone to represent your intentions for the new year.

C. Create new affirmations. Based on those updated lists, you can begin writing your new affirmations for the year ahead. If you need assistance in creating your affirmations, go download my free Six Steps to Powerful Affirmations eCourse and audios.

Feel free to share with friends, too, either virtually or in person. One client told me that a group of girlfriends downloaded my eCourse and made a sacred party out of creating and writing out their new affirmations together. Whether you do this in a group or by yourself, do something to make it special.

D. Create Your Own Ritual. Letting go of the old and embracing the new can come in many forms. Choose the ones that feel good to you.

Someone recently mentioned that they use the end of the year to forgive anyone they previously haven’t forgiven. I know other people who think forgiving is admitting something was wrong. Still others give thanks for what they’ve learned through trial and error.

E. Practice. Rituals grow in power as they are practiced and felt in the heart. Whatever you feel in your heart, you are broadcasting to the world. What do you want to broadcast?

The last week of the year, between Christmas and New Years, is the time when I am most quiet and introspective. I appreciate all I have learned in the year past, and establish my intentions for the coming year. I meditate daily and ask for Inner Guidance. I follow my inner nudges for visualizing and affirming. This time always feels sacred and serene to me. On New Year’s Eve, I relax with an aromatherapy bath and relax my way into the new year.

What are your favorite LOA rituals? Share with us in comments what works best for you, and have a happy new year!

Sleep Your Way to Success

sleep your way to succee

Jeannette Maw, the Good Vibe Coach, just posted her most popular blog posts for 2014 (well worth checking out this fabulous list for deliberate creators!). I was so honored to see that my guest post entitled, Sleep Your Way to Success, made #2 spot for most clicked posts! Sharing the blog post here for AffirmingSpirits who may have missed it the first time around.

* * * * * * * *

What’s the connection between sleeping and success? You might be surprised!

It is a well-known spiritual teaching that anything that exists in physical form, including your success in life, started first as an idea. When the idea is contemplated and the imagination takes hold, the thought begins to attract vibrationally similar thoughts, and before you know it, the idea begins to take shape.

Brain science tells us that our mind does not know the difference between reality and imagined past, present, or future. Many elite athletes take advantage of this fact to continue training their minds during their off-time. In the same way, you can harness your sleeping time (including naps) as a manifesting tool.

New Thought Teacher and Author, Neville Goddard, wrote in his book The Law and The Promise that “imagination creates reality.” Remember using your imagination as a child and being transported to other worlds in the process? Using sleep takes advantage of both your imagination and the state of relaxation that facilitates allowing.

In Goddard’s book, he details a number of stories in which people engaged their imagination while falling asleep to manifest their desires. In several cases, the people were manifesting a new home or renters for their existing home. To act AS IF they already have what they are manifesting, each of these people fell asleep each night imagining they were falling asleep in their preferred location.

This is ridiculously easy to do since, in most cases, you’ll be taking your own bed with you. If you have a pet who sleeps nearby, snoring or purring the night away, it’s easy to imagine they are on the journey with you!

Here’s How You Can Sleep Your Way to Success:

1. Lay in bed, close your eyes, relax and begin imagining what you desire has already come to pass and you are sleeping in your desired state.

 

2. Allow yourself to feel as if you’re at the end of a day after your manifestation arrived, relaxing in your bed, taking it all in.

 

3. Really appreciate what you’ve just created. Then, let yourself drift off to sleep.

 

Repeat as often as you feel inspired, knowing that everything is perfectly aligning on the non-physical level. When you feel done, let it go, knowing it’s already created and you’ll be inspired to the next step.

I’ve used this process many times as a way to keep me positively focused on the days when it was really hard to do so. If redirecting my thoughts didn’t work, I would go lay down, close my eyes and imagine. This immediately redirects my thoughts and I feel better, even more hopeful. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. So, if you are reading this and beginning to doubt you can do it, just stop thinking about it and give it a try!

San Francisco’s writing coach and author, Eric Maisel, teaches a similar process in his book Sleep Thinking. Maisel’s suggestion is to cultivate a sense of “wonder” as you fall asleep and let your subconscious discover the answer while you sleep. Upon wakening, the answer often presents itself, but sometimes this process requires staying in that sense of wonder several nights in a row.

Cultivate a Sense of Wonder by asking asking questions just as you fall asleep…

I wonder how I will (fill in the blank)?

OR

I wonder where (that missing item) is located?

OR

I wonder when is the best time to (fill in the blank)?

Ask your questions and remain in an open-minded state. Don’t try to consciously answer with your mind. Let your subconscious take over as you fall asleep, and you’ll often wake with the answer or become aware of the answer sometime during the following day.

In The Law and The Promise, Goddard discusses the power of “Revisioning,” which is also a fantastic tool to use as you fall asleep. Revisioning is using your imagination to go back in time and imagine a different experience or outcome.

One of Neville’s students used this technique to heal a long-standing injury that had caused chronic pain since childhood. This student fell asleep each night re-imagining the day they were on the swing. Instead of remembering how they fell off and broke their bones, they saw themselves jumping off the swing and landing safely in front of their mother. Over and over, night after night, they revisioned the experience being a positive one, and within a few weeks all the pain subsided until one day they noticed it was completely gone.

You can do the same with any situation, whether it requires physical healing or revisioning a better relationship or financial outcome. Your imagination is a powerful tool, and when we sleep we are most often in the most relaxed and allowing state of the day. Combining the two gives you a powerful yet easy way to create a new positive outcome for yourself.

I hope this helps you think about how you might enjoy sleeping your way to success! Let’s hear your stories for how you use this technique or want to use it in the future …

* * * * * * * *
This guest post originally appeared on the Good Vibe Blog on April 4, 2014, and has been shared here with permission. Jeannette Maw is the LOA party host at GVU and publisher of the rave reviewed Good Vibe newsletter, which you can subscribe to here.

 

Image credit: gstockstudio via 123rf.com, used with permission.

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