Deciding To Embrace Change

change

[This article was previously published on AffirmingSpirit.com. It has been revised and updated for the enjoyment of blog-readers.]

Recently, I wrote an article about the incredible power of decision, about how just deciding what you want can create the opportunities for that creation to appear in your life. Our decisions, whether conscious or unconscious, align us with the vibrational equivalents for opportunities and actions. In this post, I’m inviting you to consider whether you’ve made, or are ready to make, the decision to change what isn’t working in your life.

To Decide or Not to Decide: Is CHANGE the Question?

A few months ago, during a coaching session, the client brought up three experiences that were upsetting her. To her, these experiences were unrelated, but they all frustrated her. As I listened, I could hear the common thread in what she was saying: All three of her experiences reflected that she felt unappreciated for her hard work, and in some cases, disrespected by people around her.

When I brought this to her attention, she was surprised as she had not seen the commonality in her experience until that moment. I told her the good news is that she could decide to change right there, right that minute while we were talking. All she had to do was embrace the decision to change. She could begin by creating positive self-talk affirmations such as

I am respected and appreciated by everyone around me, and I respect and appreciate myself!

I allow others to respect me, and show it in positive ways!

Everyone I interact with treats me with respect and appreciation!

It’s Easier to Change Than Remain Suffering

The gal I was coaching was ready to make a change. She had reached a point where she no longer wanted to experience those same frustrations, and she recognized a long-standing pattern in her life that needed to change if she was going to move forward.

So, she embraced these new affirmations immediately, saying them with conviction and belief that she was already creating what she wanted. Within 24 hours, she reported noticing respectful and appreciative behavior all around her…particularly from the people she previously felt were not behaving that way!

Her discovery? What she wanted was all around her as soon as she was open to seeing it. While she was convinced that others were disrespectful, that is how she perceived others’ behavior and that is what showed up for her. As soon as she changed her focus, what she perceived and experienced changed as well.

When we talked afterward, she shared that making this shift in perception helped her to appreciate life so much more than before she had reached out for help during coaching. That comment made it clear to me that choosing to make positive changes is far more rewarding than staying in suffering. Our egos will convince us that change is not possible…it’s too difficult…it can’t be done…it’s better to stay where you are. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Changing is really easier than most people think, and it starts by making the decision to change.

Are You Ready for Change?

In the above example, if she had not been ready to change, she wouldn’t have been able to do the affirmations with feeling and would not have seen any changes. She may even have found excuses why she didn’t have time or energy to say the affirmations…or kept forgetting to say them. This is just resistance to change. Most people think change will be too painful, but the truth is NOT changing is often more painful.

How do you know you are ready for change? You can feel it. You know you are ready when you realize what you are experiencing is not working for you, when you are open to suggestions for shifting (like saying affirmations), when you can feel your life could be better and you are no longer willing to repeat the same mistakes. You can feel it inside yourself that it’s time…and, if you aren’t sure you can do it by yourself, you begin considering reaching out for help.

Likewise, when you aren’t ready, you’ll find all kinds of excuses to not reach out for help. Suddenly, you’ll create tons of reasons that tell you, “now isn’t the right time”. Follow what feels best to you, and you will take action when it’s the right time for you.

This is Your Life: There’s No Wrong Answer

Keep in mind that there is no wrong answer when it comes to your life. If you are choosing to stay where you are, that is because it is right for what you need to experience in this moment. As soon as you are ready to embrace change, you will find the help you need and begin taking appropriate steps.

In the meantime, love and accept yourself for who you are and how wonderful your life really is!

Image Credit: Composite by Barry-Jansson & Associates,

created from separate images by CZANY and jannoon028.

Believing in the Power of Possibilities

possibilities [This article was previously published on AffirmingSpirit.com. It has been revised and updated for the enjoyment of blog-readers.]

Possibilities for Improvement

Whenever someone wants to create change in their life, whether it be to their body, their home, their relationships, their career, their income, or all of the above, they first have to be able to develop a positive concept of “what is possible”. It is from that place of positive possibilities that they can determine what the next steps will be, for otherwise they would not know where to start.

What IS Possible?

The answer to that question depends entirely on who you ask! What’s interesting about ‘what is possible?’ is that the answer is not a one-size-fits-all solution as some experts would claim. It is really a range of answers, a realm if you will, from the easiest to more difficult, from the very small to the grandest of grand to that which has never been considered…and the answer is constantly changing as the universe evolves!

Every person’s realm of possibility is the unique intersection between what they have heard others accomplishing and what they can currently imagine is possible in their minds.

Why is this so important? People act on what they believe is possible for them. If they don’t believe they can do better, they rarely try. Plus, each person is going to have a realm of possibility that is slightly different from others, pre-set by what they learned was possible in their youth, and based on life experiences. Someone growing up poor being told ‘you can’t have what you want’ has a much different pre-set realm of possibility than one who grew up wealthy being told ‘you can have anything you desire, and you deserve the best that life has to offer’. Furthermore, if as an adult you’ve received additional feedback about ‘what is possible for you’, that also goes into the realm of possibilities.

Are you getting a picture of how complicated this can be?

Can you see that how you were raised may be slightly less important that the kinds of personalities support you as an adult?

Can you see how co-creation is more difficult between parties who have opposing realms of possibility?

Many people, if they haven’t heard of others doing something will conclude that it simply cannot be done (which is rarely true) and will not even try. If they are surrounded by people who do not support their desires to be better and do better, they might give up. However, if they have the support of those around them and a creative sense or internal vision of the possibility, they will make an effort…some even feel compelled to try. This is how inventors come up with stuff the rest of us say, “Brilliant idea…why didn’t I think of that?” Engineers who find break-through solutions have done so from an expanded viewpoint of what’s possible. Inventors are willing to open their minds to a greater realm of ‘what is possible?’. Scientists who make great breakthroughs, artists who create new mediums, all of the people who go beyond the barrier of ‘what is possible’ have the same thing in common: A willingness to challenge preconceived ideas and allow themselves to imagine a better way.

Extreme Makeovers: Who Holds the Vision for Improvement?

Extreme makeovers on TV are very popular. Unless you have permanently unplugged your TV, or never owned one, you have likely seen one of the many makeover shows on TV. There have been makeover shows on virtually every theme possible: losing weight, improving wardrobes, decorating or renovating new rooms and/or entire homes, improving physical features or looks…you name it.

I often wonder: What happens to the ‘made over’ after the cameras are gone? How does someone, who has a low opinion of themselves, move forward when others have shown them the possibilities to do and be better? Some follow-up shows have revealed that the inner work needed for change was lacking in these shows, so the recipients went right back to their old way of being. The way of being they knew and were comfortable with experiencing.

A while back, I saw a makeover show on Food Network where an award-winning chef and interior designer came into a run-down restaurant to help the owner improve their business by making over the entire restaurant. New menu and new restaurant decor. The restaurant had been successful once, but started going downhill and never recovered.

Apparently, anyone walking into the restaurant could see (and smell, according to the chef) and probably taste, too, why the restaurant was suffering…anyone, that is, except the owner and his family. They were used to the sights and smells, and had developed a mind-set that it was too hard to change. They no longer saw the possibilities for improvement. They needed outside help to change.

It was also very clear to see that the award-winning experts had a much grander vision of what was possible than the failing restaurant owner. The owner was so stuck in the negativity surrounding the failing of his business that he had a hard time accepting the suggestions of the chef and interior designer. He had not been able (or willing) to see their vision and was highly critical of their efforts until the restaurant makeover was complete. Once he actually stepped into the new vision for his restaurant, and sat down to taste the new menu items, then he was able to grasp what was possible. As a result, he’s kept up with the improvements, and the restaurant is now much more successful than ever before.

That episode of Restaurant Makeover illustrates why so many people stay stuck when they are spirally downward, unable to correct the problems and change course. On one level, they do want improvements, to change their course, shift their experience—but they are so mired in the “what is” that they are unable to envision something greater, something better, something beyond. They absolutely need someone who can see more options, who isn’t mired in “what is”, and can create the space for greater possibility where none existed before. And they must be able to listen without judgement to suggestions that are offered. For many people, that is really hard to do! But, it’s not impossible.

Making Big Changes
So, what do you do when you know big changes need to happen, but you aren’t quite sure change is possible? Here are some suggestions that have worked for me:

Step 1: Decide It starts with deciding that you are ready and want to make big changes. Whatever change you are envisioning will require stepping outside of your comfort zone, and believing something greater is possible. It absolutely cannot be done unless you are committed to the process.

Now, deciding doesn’t guarantee you will know HOW, in that moment, to proceed. However, the power of deciding will set you on the journey of discovering how.

Step 2: Seek help Can you do this on your own? Most people cannot make big changes without the assistance of someone else. We need someone who isn’t emotionally involved in our life to show us other possibilities. Seek an advisor, mentor, coach or counselor who will hold you accountable and help you shift out of your pre-set preconceptions about what is possible for you. Most people choose a coach or counselor because they are readily available, ready to start immediately, and already experienced in helping others.

Step 3: Raise your vibration Allow your subconscious to connect the dots for you. Meanwhile, go do some fun things…go for a walk in the sunshine, play with your pets, visit friends, spend time with loved-ones, meditate, journal, watch an uplifting movie, or whatever you identify as fun for you. Use this time to life yourself vibrationally, and refresh yourself mentally and emotionally.

If you are really struggling, taking a nap to release stress can be very beneficial. You might need to repeat this step many times between the other steps to keep your mind relaxed. A stressed mind will not be helpful, as it is more likely to direct you to vibrationally-equivalent stress-filled ideas and stressful outcomes.

Step 4: Research Find out what the most successful people in the related industry are doing. If you want to lose weight, find out what the experts suggest for diet, exercise, and supporting therapies. These days, the web is a great place to begin searching. Refrain from pre-judging what you read about or deciding that you don’t have the money or resources to do what others have done. Just concentrate on finding out what others have done as it might spur other ideas.

Step 5: Brainstorm Then, it’s time to ask your imagination to provide solutions: Brainstorm ideas, and withhold judgment of any single idea until later. Just let the ideas flow forth. Write down whatever ideas come to you. The more you try this technique, the more ideas will flow. You can even ask the person assisting you to brainstorm with you, if they are willing. Ask first. Most mentors and coaches will do this, but I am not sure about all counselors as different kinds of therapies have different approaches.

Step 6: Take a break before reviewing Remember to rest your mind regularly during this process, and allow yourself to have fun doing things that feel good. Once you feel you have completed your research and brainstorming, set the information aside, and again, go do some fun things. Let your mind relax, while the subconscious works out some solutions. When you are relaxed and feeling good, review your compiled list of ideas. Notice which ideas feel good, even if you are unsure about how to do it, or fear you don’t have the resources/time/money/whatever to go that route. The ones that feel good are the best options for you. This is where a coach or counselor can really help you believe in yourself. Also, notice what new ideas come to mind that might be better options for you. For instance, if you’ve always wanted to learn to dance, consider taking lessons as a way to learn AND get aerobic exercise.

Step 7: Pay attention for right action Right action is the action that is, deep in your heart, right for you. Once your subconscious mind begins to work on these ideas of what’s possible, and you’ve reviewed your research and brainstorming, you may begin noticing opportunities. New information may be sent to you. New ideas will pop into your awareness. Hybrid ideas—a combination of what has been and done what really appeals to you—may bubble up. Be willing to consider ideas that may have seemed out of reach. Pay attention to everything that shows up or comes to mind, and how you feel about each idea.

Follow and take action on everything that feels good to you! The way you feel is guidance for what is best for you…your right action. When you feel sure about a certain action, take it. When you feel unsure or doubtful, go do something else. Often, when we are in a relaxed state, we’ll know exactly what steps are best for us.

A good advisor, mentor, coach or counselor can also support you in weeding out the unhelpful energy, so you can discover the right choices for you.

Is there something in your life that you are now committed to changing? Share below what possibilities you are choosing to believe in….

Image credit: nexusplexus

 

TRUST

What does trust mean to you and how are you currently experiencing trust in your life?

Where I am in complete trust, those areas of my life flow so easily. Where I do not trust, havoc seems to reign. This is not a coincidence, it is the law of attraction in action!

Like a Trusttuning fork resonating with the strings of the universe, our state of being is always being broadcast (through the body’s electro-magnetic field generated by the heart). With each heartbeat, your state of trust (or lack thereof) is telling the Universe how to mirror reality back to you.

Trusting is knowing…deep inside your heart…that ALL IS WELL. You may not know *how* situations will turn out, but you know they will. As a matter of course, they always do work out well, even if they work out in ways you may not have predicted or requested.

Allowing Trust

How do you cultivate trust when it isn’t automatically present? So many of us have been raised to believe we can only trust if what we are experiencing proves the situation is worth trusting. However, through my personal growth I began experiencing something different. In many cases, trust is something that bubbles up when we simply allow the possibility.

When we open to the possibility in our hearts and minds that we can begin trusting (whatever it is we want to experience), it’s amazing how the trust seems to bubble up from inside of us. Once we feel it, we know trust is possible. Christian Mystics call this the Christ Consciousness within, the divine energy force that flows through us, shifting based on how we are choosing to experience life. Whatever you call it, most of us have experienced this and it’s affect is undeniable!

If we are closed to trusting (someone or something), then our experience reflects that. The situation reverses when we open ourselves to trusting.

For instance, take something in your life you’ve been stressing about. Recognize the feeling you have in your body when you are stressing, and ask yourself:

What would I be feeling now if I knew this was all going to work out wonderfully? As that question hovers in your awareness, sit with it and feel the shift in your body’s energy. Notice how your body relaxes, and how trusting now feels more possible.

Soon, you will be finding yourself able to relax and trust in ways you didn’t even know were possible before! If you are familiar with Quantum Entrainment / Pure Awareness, try it on opening yourself to the possibility that all is working out beautifully for you.

Choosing Trust

You can live your life choosing to trust or not to trust. It’s always your choice to experience trust or the lack of it, and you are always free to make a new choice. You can live in doubt and worry, or you can live in trust. You can live in frustration and fear or you can trust.

For instance, I trust that I am always safe. Feeling safe and being safe are now a given. I have decided I am safe, and once I made that choice I began experiencing feeling safe more often. Even in circumstances that others would find harrowing, my inner compass trusts that “I am safe” and reminds me often. At one time in my life, this was not true. That’s how I know that we can choose something different and experience the result. I decided to choose trust. You can choose trust.

What are you choosing to trust?

Trusting Versus Taking For Granted

Know that trusting is not the same as taking something for granted. It’s a subtle vibrational difference, but it’s there: Trusting is a confident knowing inside and feels affirmative. Like you are saying “YES, that’s right!”

Taking something for granted, for me, feels ambivalent—like not caring. It’s not even important enough to choose or make a decision about. Many of us would admit that we take our government for granted. We expect it to run and focus on the things that matter to us, but we put virtually no effort toward seeing or experiencing our government improving. Then, we get mad when actions are taken that we don’t agree with.

What areas of your life do you take for granted?

Where could you begin trusting more, and taking less for granted?

As you contemplate the week ahead, I’d like to leave you with one other thought about trust. When you think of trust, think of this acronym…

T R U S T = Totally Relying Upon Superior Thoughts

Superior thoughts are those thoughts that feel good to contemplate. They raise your vibe and make you smile. They fill your heart with hope and possibility.

Now it’s your turn! What do you find easy to trust, and what helps you develop trust? Share your comments and suggestions below.

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