Deciding To Embrace Change

change

[This article was previously published on AffirmingSpirit.com. It has been revised and updated for the enjoyment of blog-readers.]

Recently, I wrote an article about the incredible power of decision, about how just deciding what you want can create the opportunities for that creation to appear in your life. Our decisions, whether conscious or unconscious, align us with the vibrational equivalents for opportunities and actions. In this post, I’m inviting you to consider whether you’ve made, or are ready to make, the decision to change what isn’t working in your life.

To Decide or Not to Decide: Is CHANGE the Question?

A few months ago, during a coaching session, the client brought up three experiences that were upsetting her. To her, these experiences were unrelated, but they all frustrated her. As I listened, I could hear the common thread in what she was saying: All three of her experiences reflected that she felt unappreciated for her hard work, and in some cases, disrespected by people around her.

When I brought this to her attention, she was surprised as she had not seen the commonality in her experience until that moment. I told her the good news is that she could decide to change right there, right that minute while we were talking. All she had to do was embrace the decision to change. She could begin by creating positive self-talk affirmations such as

I am respected and appreciated by everyone around me, and I respect and appreciate myself!

I allow others to respect me, and show it in positive ways!

Everyone I interact with treats me with respect and appreciation!

It’s Easier to Change Than Remain Suffering

The gal I was coaching was ready to make a change. She had reached a point where she no longer wanted to experience those same frustrations, and she recognized a long-standing pattern in her life that needed to change if she was going to move forward.

So, she embraced these new affirmations immediately, saying them with conviction and belief that she was already creating what she wanted. Within 24 hours, she reported noticing respectful and appreciative behavior all around her…particularly from the people she previously felt were not behaving that way!

Her discovery? What she wanted was all around her as soon as she was open to seeing it. While she was convinced that others were disrespectful, that is how she perceived others’ behavior and that is what showed up for her. As soon as she changed her focus, what she perceived and experienced changed as well.

When we talked afterward, she shared that making this shift in perception helped her to appreciate life so much more than before she had reached out for help during coaching. That comment made it clear to me that choosing to make positive changes is far more rewarding than staying in suffering. Our egos will convince us that change is not possible…it’s too difficult…it can’t be done…it’s better to stay where you are. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Changing is really easier than most people think, and it starts by making the decision to change.

Are You Ready for Change?

In the above example, if she had not been ready to change, she wouldn’t have been able to do the affirmations with feeling and would not have seen any changes. She may even have found excuses why she didn’t have time or energy to say the affirmations…or kept forgetting to say them. This is just resistance to change. Most people think change will be too painful, but the truth is NOT changing is often more painful.

How do you know you are ready for change? You can feel it. You know you are ready when you realize what you are experiencing is not working for you, when you are open to suggestions for shifting (like saying affirmations), when you can feel your life could be better and you are no longer willing to repeat the same mistakes. You can feel it inside yourself that it’s time…and, if you aren’t sure you can do it by yourself, you begin considering reaching out for help.

Likewise, when you aren’t ready, you’ll find all kinds of excuses to not reach out for help. Suddenly, you’ll create tons of reasons that tell you, “now isn’t the right time”. Follow what feels best to you, and you will take action when it’s the right time for you.

This is Your Life: There’s No Wrong Answer

Keep in mind that there is no wrong answer when it comes to your life. If you are choosing to stay where you are, that is because it is right for what you need to experience in this moment. As soon as you are ready to embrace change, you will find the help you need and begin taking appropriate steps.

In the meantime, love and accept yourself for who you are and how wonderful your life really is!

Image Credit: Composite by Barry-Jansson & Associates,

created from separate images by CZANY and jannoon028.

Romancing the Struggle

romancing the struggleIn my work with creative and healing business owners, I’ve noticed that some people really enjoy experiencing struggle. Where none exists, they’ll create some to ensure there is plenty to go around.

For these people, struggle makes them feel more alive, satisfying their need to complain, push against someone/something, and ‘have an enemy’ to confront.

Some are wired this way, and those who are not have subconsciously succumbed to the belief that there is no other choice—and they don’t question that thinking. Fighting amid the struggle allows them to justify the belief that nothing good comes without a struggle.

Romancing the Struggle

I know because a while back, I was among the unconsciously struggling group. I didn’t enjoy the struggles, but everyone around me was parroting that ‘life is hard’, ‘making money is a struggle’, ‘we all have to settle; no one can get what they want’. I listened to and believed their complaints and worries and fears, and never once did I question those thoughts.

At the time, I didn’t even realize I had a choice! I didn’t realize my own power to create struggle or create ease.

It took me a long time to realize that life was merely mirroring what I claimed to be true. I not only had a choice, but I could question the ‘life is a struggle’ thinking, and I could make room for ease and flow in my business…and every area of my life.

Bottom line: Your life and your business are only as difficult as you decide they are.

We decide each time we observe ‘what is’ and label it ‘the way it will always be’. Or observe others in struggle and claim ‘that will happen to me, too’. We can decide something different at any point, but only we can do it for ourselves.

If you enjoy romancing the struggle, then I’ll leave you to it. This post isn’t really for you, so you’re excused..carry on and have fun.

Ready to Start Romancing the Ease?

Here’s what you can do if you are ready to experience more ease and flow:

1. Decide to let go of your struggle romance. – Nothing can change until you decide you are ready to let that go. Write your struggle romance a break-up letter. Thank it for what it has taught you, and tell it goodbye. Then, get ready to make a new commitment. From time-to-time, you may benefit from re-committing to this decision when you find yourself slipping back into bad habits of struggle.

2. Make a new commitment. – Intend to experience more ease, flow, fun, and joy. Some people find it supportive to craft and use affirmations every day reminding them of that ease, which helps them move forward. Become a regular visitor to Easy World. Visualize the ease you’d like to experience. Tune into how you’d like to feel when all is said and done.

3. Question your thinking. – Once you’ve made the decision and commitment, start consciously choosing to shift your thinking into alignment.

What’s ‘in alignment’ mean?
• Thoughts that feel good are in alignment with committing to more ease and flow.
• Conversely, thoughts that feel bad are not in alignment with committing to more ease and flow.

When you find yourself spinning on a subject, getting caught in struggle, look at the underlying belief and apply The Work: Is this true? Can I absolutely be sure it’s true? How do I feel when I think this thought? Who would I be without this thought?

4. Increase your awareness of the physical feelings in your body. – The body compass can tell us way more than our mind, if we’re willing to listen to the messages. If you are stuck in your brain, chances are very good that you are obsessing rather than resolving your struggles.

Get still, become aware of your breath, feel your arms, hands, legs, feet, chest. Notice your heartbeat. As you sense your body, the thinking centers of the brain turn off. Notice where the tension is, and let it go. Notice where you feel tight, or have sensations like aches or pains or itching. Awareness of these sensations is not only healing, but opens space for old, stuck issues to come to the surface. This is an ongoing practice.

5. Find time every day to meditate and relax. – Brain science shows us that our best thinking happens when we’re relaxed, not when we’re stressed. Just 5 minutes a day of relaxed awareness on the breath begins to rewire our brain to be less reactive. There is a reason some successful companies require their executive staff to meditate regularly. You will be amazed by the health and mental well-being benefits of this one step, alone!

6. Look for ways to romance the ease already existing in your life. – Some people find it helpful to keep a gratitude journal, or an evidence journal, or a hybrid of both, to record the good, the ease, the miracles showing up in their life…and it’s a good way to become more aware of the ease already flowing.

7. Talk, Write, Think, and Act As If. – Put your new story of ease and flow into practice. Talk about the ease in your life. Write about the ease and flow. Think about (and give thanks for) the ease and flow in your life and business. Walk, drive, eat, and behave like a person who is immersed in ease. Be the business owner who embraces ease.

Now it’s your turn: Are you ready to let go of the struggle and begin romancing the ease? Have you already made the shift? Share your stories below…

Image credit: niserin

Cultivating the Business Love Factor

business love

Earlier this week, cultivating love for our business was the topic of a panel call in which I was a participant. Not surprisingly, most entrepreneurs are taught to think of their business according the ‘numbers’: ROI, the number of paying clients, the profit after expenses, growing products and services, increasing the client roster or customer list—the metrics they believe point to whether their business is a “success”.

However, when you understand energy dynamics, metrics are only the reflection of what’s happening with those who started and run the business. It’s reflecting their *past thoughts and actions*.

Before any metrics are generated, the business begins responding to the person(s) starting and running the business. Our energy has a direct impact on the world around us, including our perceptions of our business.

Cultivating the Business Love Factor

While some entrepreneurs start out as employees in larger companies, those who finally have a chance to start their own business tend to gravitate toward:

• Business concepts that excite them, from the offerings to the business model

Ideas that energize them throughout the day, and keep the going so they feel fully engaged

• A sense of doing well by doing good: fulfillment and meaning

It’s easy to see why a business that exemplifies the above criteria would have a positive energy from within that helps it expand. They cultivate their business love on a constant basis throughout the day: in their words, thoughts, self-talk, attitudes, and writing. All before they ever take action in their business.

As a result, when they finally take action they result in great successes that reflect the business love energy they invested up front.

Those who have cultivated the business love factor have done a number of things to set themselves up for success, from the choice of what they offer to who they serve. Their choices from the beginning have lined them up to love every aspect of their business, and their business loves them back!

Not feeling it?

If you’re reading this post and realizing you don’t have the business love factor working for you, you have two choices: make some changes or close the business.

For some, closing an existing business might bring tremendous relief. If that’s you, then do what feels best.

For others, some re-evaluation is in order.

If you are in the latter group, one of the first questions you’ll want to ask is: Am I willing to experience my business differently? A Course in Miracles invites us to say, “I am willing to see this (situation) differently. Take my thoughts and judge them for me, returning to me (better feeling thoughts).” Once you’ve done this, get some much-needed rest to clear out your anxiety.

When you are rested and have some quiet time, write out your ideal business scenarios: What are your days like? What products or services do you offer? Who do you serve? How do feel at the end of your days? What are your business interactions like? Who else is working with you? How do you feel when you are not working? Keep writing as long as it feels energizing and uplifting. (Those feelings are an indicator that your business is capable of moving in those directions.)

Once you’ve written this out, compare it to your current typical day.

Resist the temptation to keep things the ‘same’ for the sake of comfort if they really are not suiting your business. This business is yours, and you have the freedom to change course or course correct.

From there, you can begin mapping out ways you can shift your business offerings and/or clientele/customers to better fit your ideal.

Then, find ways to love and appreciate what has been working all along as well as the changes that you’ve successfully made. Journal about it, think about it, express it frequently to yourself and others. Shift the story about your business so it sounds a lot more like your ideal scenario.

Bottom line: Focus on ways you love your existing business, release or delegate the aspects you don’t love, and your business will love you back!

 

Image credit: basketman23

 

Managing the Naysayers

Managing the NaysayersHas this happened to you: Feeling good, joyfully setting and working toward goals that delight you when, seemingly out of nowhere, appear the naysayers discouraging your efforts.

Naysayers are the people in our lives finding fault with our decisions, questioning our ideas, and unable to believe in new possibilities.

You can tell a naysayer because they limited the possibilities in their own minds, and are convinced what is true for them is also true for others. They are known for generalized statements such as:

The field is over-saturated.

It’s impossible to succeed.

No one makes money doing that.

You’re going to fail.

I wouldn’t bother, if I was you.

You can’t afford that…

Sound familiar?

Naysayers

Those comments, by the way, are a sampling of what I was told after starting my presentation design business in the 1990s.

It was easy for me to dismiss them because I could really feel in my heart that this was the way to go…and the right time to do it.

Turns out, there was a great need for the services I was providing, and clients sought me out. The first year I replaced my corporate income and the second year I was earning six figures.

I remembered this 18 months later when I envisioned myself buying a new home and found that my real estate agent was, in fact, a naysayer. She didn’t believe in my ability, as a self-employed single parent, to afford a home of my own. Rather than help me find something in my budget, she gave me a map highlighting to the worst part of town (with houses ready to be demolished).

The Blessing in Naysayers

As with all contrast, there is a blessing in having naysayers in our life. They show us what *we* believe. If we are discouraged by naysayers, that reveals how we are not believing in ourselves. Even an inkling of worry or doubt in us will become triggered by the naysayers.

However, if we truly believe in what we are doing, then we cannot be dissuaded no matter what anyone else says or does. Naysayer comments will seem empty or almost comical because we know what we want, and we already feel the strong momentum of our success is underway. Like someone telling a builder it’s impossible to build a building when it’s already framed up and ready to finish.

If we recognize the naysayer for who they are, a person projecting their own fears, doubts, and limited beliefs, then it is easier to forgive them and move past their comments. This is what I did with my naysayer real estate agent.

Rather than argue with her or try to convince her that she was wrong, I recognized that she was just not with the program I had embarked upon. She didn’t see or understand the magic that I was already creating in my life. I mentally patted her on the top of her head, forgave her for not seeing the magic, and went around her to get approved by a mortgage lender and find the property I wanted to purchase. Then, I contacted her again to finalize the purchase.

Some people might have skipped that last step, and found a new agent who believed in them. Because I knew this agent personally, and knew she needed the sale (naysayers often live a difficult life), I wanted to help her out. I also wanted to share the magic I was creating, so she could open her eyes to new possibilities.

Tips for Managing Naysayers

  1. As always, it starts with you: Get clear on your decisions before you discuss them with others. When you are solid in your knowing, clear on what feels best to you, comments from naysayers will not bother you. In some cases, they might even amuse you.
  2. Be choosy. Chances are, you are aware of some naysayers in your life right now. Unless you enjoy conflict, be choosy about who has the privilege of discussing your business decisions with you. Not everyone in your life needs to know every business decision you have made.
  3. Naysayers who are closer to you: Significant other or a business partner, and/or both, who are naysayers really challenge our commitment to our choices. Managing naysayers who live and/or work with us requires us to really be in touch with how we feel, and be willing to own our power to make our own choices. When you know what is important and which decision feels best to you, you’ll be better able to detach yourself from their comments.If your business partner is constantly naysaying, despite your business decisions always working out well, it might be a good idea to renegotiate how you interact. Perhaps you can agree to each make certain decisions without each others approval. Or you might want to find a new business partner.
  4. When you are your own naysayer it is time to go within and figure out what’s going on. If you cannot trust your own ideas and decisions, it’s time to work on your self-love and self-esteem. There is no room for success and well-being when we lack trust in ourselves.
  5. Use the naysayer triggers to look at your own doubts and fears. When someone elses naysaying bothers you, it’s a good indication that you harbor some of those same feelings. Otherwise, their comments wouldn’t trigger you.
  6. Bless the naysayers. Yeah, you read that right: Mentally thank and appreciate the naysayers for either showing you your own doubts and fears, or for revealing how solid you feel on the topic. Either way, they are providing a valuable service, and that deserves some appreciation!

How have you dealt with naysayers? It’s your turn to share how you’ve dealt with the naysayers in your life…comment below so we can all benefit.

Image Credit: pixelbliss

Business ThanksGiving

Business ThanksGiving

ThanksGiving in the United States is on Thursday, and a tradition based on celebrating appreciation for all our blessings.

Business ThanksGiving

Many business owners take stock at this time of year to be thankful for all the good things that happened in their business during the previous year. They are thankful for their clients/customers, their increased sales and business expansion, while they thank their lucky stars for challenges they side-stepped.

While that’s wonderful, and highly recommended, this year I encourage your Business ThanksGiving to include…

Appreciating all that did not happen. Many of the worst case scenarios swimming around between your ears never saw the light of day. Some of the things you wanted to happen didn’t. Thank goodness! From your vantage point now, you can see the blessings in disguise. Take some time to appreciate the gift of not getting what you asked for.

Feeling appreciative of every client who didn’t hire you or that you didn’t take on, every customer who didn’t buy from you. In our quest to grow our businesses, we tend to want to take on every client, sell to every customer, but is that always the best idea? Virtually every business owner will tell you there are clients they wish they could fire, and customers they wish they never met. Focusing on the customers and clients you really appreciate working with makes your business more enjoyable. Let the other customers and clients go to people who enjoy working with them. There’s plenty to go around!

Finding warmth in your heart for ways your business did not expand. We live in the land of bigger is BETTER, yet more companies go out of business when they grow too fast than when they intentionally and gradually grow. Feel good about your business being exactly the size that it is right now.

Appreciating all you’ve learned through hardship. Virtually every business owner I know has had their share of harship, and on the other side of it, with some emotional recovery, they see the blessing and knowledge gained from the experience. Not that they want to do it everyday, but we can learn from failure and hardship, and the lesson often lasts longer than if learned through glory. (Wouldn’t that be nice to shift?)

Feeling gratitude for all being a business owner teaches you. Being self-employed is one of the most spiritually challenging experiences in life because it will bring up ALL your *stuff*…even the stuff you thought you’d already worked on! Thank goodness for that. Thank goodness for everything you’ve learned this year, and all that you will learn in the coming year.

Myth About Law of Attraction

But, wait, Nancy…

If I focus on what didn’t happen, who didn’t hire me, how my business didn’t expand, all I learned through hardship, won’t the Law of Attraction bring me more of that?

No. In fact, that’s actually one of the myths about the Law of Attraction!

The Law of Attraction means that like frequencies are naturally drawn to each other. When you truly feel appreciation for anything, you are sending out a high frequency of appreciation/love, and the Law of Attraction will mirror back to you like-frequencies of appreciation/love. LOA is mirroring back your energy, not just the content of your thoughts.

This is because LOA doesn’t care if you are thinking positively or negatively about a thought…the feeling of the response received is based on the emotion you are feeling. As you change your feelings, you also change your experience.

That’s one reason why we can stress out and overthink while trying to solve business problems, but as soon as we relax, a good solution pops into our mind! The solution is not the same frequency as the problem. Thinking repetitively and under stress rarely brings us good solutions. Relaxing and getting to a better feeling place does.

When we are willing to observe and appreciate even the challenging aspects of running a business, it releases our resistance to challenges. This helps us relax and align us with more to appreciate in our business.

From that point on, you won’t be looking at your business challenges in the same way...you’ll discover appreciation for all the good things AND the not-so-good things. Because there are blessings in everything, if we’re willing to look for them.

So, I invite you to take some time this ThanksGiving to appreciate all aspects of your business, and let us know how that felt for you!

Wishing you a wonderful ThanksGiving, filled with much appreciation for your family, your life, and your business!

Is Your Business on the Creative Plane?

The Creative Plane is felt and known

In the Autumn of 2006, I was contacted by a Silicon Valley design firm, a potential client, to work on a new project. They requested that I go with them to one of their client’s offices to meet with the executives.

Once we entered the conference room, there was one thing that was really clear to me: The executives at this company neither liked or agreed with each other on a number of topics. Although they were not speaking when we entered the room, they were glaring at each other and the energy of the room was thick with un-ease.

After the introductions, the discussion began about what kind of help they needed and how we (my potential client and myself) could be of service to them. As they began to speak, and disagree with each other, I had a flash of insight.

To explain this insight, I first have to mention that over that previous summer, I had watched the movie The Secret (first version with Esther Hicks) and purchased several DVDs for myself and family. I had the chance to re-watch the move and the DVD extras that included a conversation about Wallace Wattles’ book, The Science of Getting Rich, which inspired the movie.

In his book, Wattles explains the difference between the Competitive Plane and the Creative Plane. The competitive plane is contentious, fraught with difficulties and antagonism, while the creative plane is heart-centered, filled with ease, focused on service and win-win solutions for all involved. When I read this part of the book, I could see it as two overlapping dimensions of reality. Both are invisible, yet undeniably felt in our bodymind and heart. We get to choose which one we play in.

You see, we are ALWAYS creating…whether we are conscious of it, or not. Whether we believe in the Law of Attraction, or not. We are creative beings and the Universe is always assisting us in creation based on our vibration. Wattles knew this, and he knew that those who choose to run their business in the Creative Plane look for ways to be of service and benefit greatly from that choice:

Wallace Wattles wrote:

“When you enter upon the creative plane of thought you will rise above all these things and become a citizen of another kingdom.

But remember that your thought must be held upon the creative plane; you are never for an instant to be betrayed into regarding the supply as limited, or into acting on the moral level of competition.

Whenever you do fall into old ways of thought, correct yourself instantly; for when you are in the competitive mind, you have lost the cooperation of the Mind of the Whole.”

—excerpted from The Science of Getting Rich, pg 145, 1915  edition

So, back to this contentious business meeting in the conference room and the insight I received…

As the executives resumed fighting among themselves, I realized they were all (unconsciously) playing in the Competitive Plane! As I sat there observing them, I consciously CHOSE to be in the Creative Plane. Although I said nothing, I changed my own energy from what I was feeling in the room to one of appreciation, and I wrote on my note pad “Creative Plane”, establishing my commitment and as a reminder of where I was choosing to be.

Within moments, the heated argument settled down, and one of the executives turned to me for input. From there, I expressed ideas that bridged the ideas expressed by the executives in the room. They began agreeing, nodding their heads, and I felt the shift in energy in the room. I knew, in that moment, that they had been receptive to my suggestions because I was speaking to them from within the Creative Plane. They might not have been able to articulate that, but they clearly felt it…and were responding accordingly.

By the time we left, we not only had consensus, but the energy of the entire project had shifted to one of cooperation and satisfaction.

Abraham has often said that it only takes ONE positively focused and clear individual to shift the energy of thousands. On that day, in that conference room, I was the one who chose to shift the energy.

When you have business meetings, make business decisions, and take actions in your business, are you functioning in the Competitive or the Creative Plane?

Here’s how you know from which plane you are operating:
• If you and others around you are in the Competitive Plane, people are jockeying for position and recognition. Everyone’s feeling un-ease, decisions are difficult, frustration abounds, and the whole experience is draining.

• If you and others around you are in the Creative Plane, everyone feels heard, ideas are flowing, there is a fun feeling of cooperation, ease abounds, decisions are easier, and the whole experience is uplifting.

Just from reading these descriptions, chances are good that you’ll recognize where you spend most of your business time. If the Creative Plane is sounding a lot like ‘Easy World’, you’re right…both are an alternate reality where everything is easier and more relaxed.

If you are spending more time in your business in the Competitive Plane than you’d like, and reading this post has encouraged you to consider shifting into the Creative Plane, it’s easier to do than you might think.

A. Start with the clear decision to operate in the Creative Plane. It sounds simple, but making the decision is part of the shifting process, and it sends a strong signal to the Universe that you are changing course. When you really make this decision, it makes it easier if/when you are tested to remain in the Creative Plane.

B. Find the feeling in your heart of love, appreciation, and enthusiasm for your business, and everyone affected by your business including your clients, your vendors, business/joint venture partners. Let the positive feeling for your business and all the people it touches overflow in your heart.

C. Know that you are in the Creative Plane when you are functioning from your heart, then ask yourself: What could I do in this moment to be of greatest service?

Whatever answer you receive, do it even if the answer surprises you. The answer to this question might be solving an existing problem, or it might be something like ‘go meditate’, or ‘take a walk’, or ‘take a nap’, or ‘call that customer and offer them an olive branch’. When you are in the Creative Plane, even the tasks that previously felt draining will now feel doable and good-to-do in this moment.

Have you had experiences running your business in the Creative Plane? How about struggling with your business in the Competitive Plane? Share your experiences in the comments below…

Image Credit: Composite image created
by Barry-Jansson & Associates, from
images by Igor Goncharenko (sky)
and Mark Grenier (pattern)

Step Into Your True Power of Creation

5644742_s_standInPower_cropped

Dear Business Owners,

My deepest wish is for you to realize, and step into, your true power of creation.

Why is it that you think nothing of creating products or services for your clients—out of nothing more than sheer inspiration—yet you don’t realize that you have the same ability to create success in your business?

You are a powerful being capable of amazing creations and accomplishments. The ability to create success is your birthright. You may have forgotten it, but you can never lose it entirely.

Over the years, I’ve received countless phone calls and emails from you complaining about what is going wrong in your business and your frustration in how to fix it, yet the power to do so has always been within you from the time that you were born. In fact, you’ve (unconsciously) created your problems in the same way you can also create your solutions!

In order to create solutions, though, you first need to become conscious of, and step into, your own true power of creation. This is imperative for your business to grow and thrive.

Here is what you might be doing to block your own power:

Ignoring your inner guidance (intuition). You own inner guidance will always direct you in the right direction. When a decision needs to be made, know that the answer IS inside of you. Get quiet, know the right answer is present, and listen for it. Assume and feel that your Divine Self / Christ Consciousness is at work within you finding the perfect solutions, then be in that energy and listen. Be ready to take inspired action.

Doubting and questioning yourself. The more you question yourself and ask others, instead of listening for your own guidance, the more you are blocking your own intuition. Some take this so far that they end up stuck in the pit of victimhood. You are also sending a signal to the Universe that you don’t know of and are unaware of any solutions, which will keep them vibrationally elusive until your energy shifts. Release the bad habit of doubting and questioning yourself, or seeing yourself as a victim, and make a conscious choice each day to affirm and know that the perfect solution is coming into your awareness. Then, get ready to receive!

Chronic complaining, to yourself and to others. Do you remember a time in your life when you didn’t complain? For most of us, that was back when you were much younger, before you had developed a bad habit of complaining. Many of us grew up learning that the only way to relate to others was through complaining and fault-finding. Complaining is a habit that is a form of negative affirmation—which limit you and block you from receiving anything positive! The Universe is always responding to the signal you are sending, and complaints just tell the Big U to send you more that you can complain about! The good news is that you can replace a bad habit with a new better habit…like letting what annoys you point you in the direction of what you prefer, and appreciating your new preferences. Abraham calls that ‘Taking the Bounce’.

Getting caught up in the ‘outside world circumstances’. This is what I often hear: “But you don’t understand, this (fill in the blank) is my problem and as long as it exists, I’m screwed!” With a belief like that, you surely are! And yet, you are infinitely more powerful than any circumstance that comes your way…if you believe you are. The outside world is a reflection of what is going on inside of you, and nothing changes outside until you change yourself on the inside. This concept took me a long time to understand, and now Quantum Physics is showing us how this happens. Bashar has said, “Circumstances don’t matter. Only state of being matters.” When we’re so focused on ‘the problem’ being our roadblock, the Law of Attraction can only line us up with more of that. You are the only one with the power to create problems or solutions in your world. I know…that seems like a lot of responsibility. Take a deep breath! Take a few deep breaths. Taking full responsibility is the hardest part of the process, for most people, but doing so makes everything else much easier. What you created, you can begin anew and create differently from an upgraded perspective!

Resisting or refusing to create an environment for your success. I get it. It seems easier to stay where you are and keep doing what you’re doing. If that’s your preference, then keep doing it. But you’ll also have to let go of your expectation of improvement because that will require creating a different environment for your success. That might include changing how you talk to yourself and others about yourself and your business, who you spend time with, where you focus your attention, expanding what you believe is possible, using your imagination to focus on positive possibilities, and caring enough about how you feel to set strong boundaries. If your (internal and/or external) environment has been nurturing failure, then it’s up to you to change the environment if you expect a better outcome.

Here is what you can begin doing to unblock, and step into, your own power:

• Honor your inner guidance (intuition). No one has your back like your own inner guidance. Connect with and listen to your inner guidance on a regular basis. Doing so will make you very sensitive to how your guidance communicates with you. Over the years, my inner guidance has developed a shorthand that I know instantly what is right or not-so-right for me. I listen for it, feel for it, receive it, and honor it by taking appropriate actions based on the guidance. And yes, I ‘thank’ my inner guidance on a regular basis!

• Consciously choose to trust yourself. Ask your inner guidance. If the answer isn’t immediate, trust that your guidance will show up in some way. Perhaps it needs to come through another person or another situation that has yet to happen. Feel your higher self / Christ Consciousness working on your behalf, feel your appreciation for the support, then relax and focus on something that you enjoy. Sparks of insight usually occur when we are in a relaxed state of mind, often focused on something unrelated.

• Affirm, meditate on, and visualize your good. Everyday. As often as possible throughout your day. Let every thought and feeling (thought + emotion) you have focus on what feels better to you in any given moment. Train your mind and heart to lean toward the positive. In the beginning, this might take a lot of concentrated effort (depending on how long you’ve wired your brain to do the opposite), but after you’ve been doing it, it becomes easier and easier. Until, one day, you notice that it has become your ‘new normal’. Like a train (of thought) gaining momentum as it hits the summit and begins the route downhill. The cells of your body are like cells in a petri dish—affirming, meditating and visualizing your good not only uplifts your mind but also benefits every cell in your body. Your whole body will begin to vibrate at a higher level, attracting people, opportunities, and resources that you previously could not access vibrationally.

• Take full responsibility for your state of being. Let me restate: You are infinitely more powerful than any circumstance that comes your way. Everything changes (in a good way) when you take full responsibility for consciously choosing a positive state of being. Not just acquiring a positive state, but learning how to return to that state when an experience knocks you into the (vibrational) bushes.

• Nurture your success. Value yourself enough to consciously upgrade your self-talk (cultivating your own affirmations is a great way to do this). Choose your words carefully when speaking with others about yourself and your business, as you are creating what you think and speak. Be discerning about who you spend time with, be conscious of where you focus your attention throughout the day and as you fall asleep. Open your heart and mind by expanding what you believe is possible. Using your imagination to focus on positive possibilities, and caring enough about how you feel to set strong boundaries. If your (internal and/or external) environment has been nurturing failure, then it’s up to you to change the environment if you expect a better outcome.

But wait, you say…all of your recommendations is about ‘inner work’!

That’s right. 🙂

BLOG_InnerWorkThe most important part of business success is the inner work you do before you take any physical actions! Once your energy is positively aligned with the inner work, every action you take will be the ‘right one’ for you and your business. Therefore, your inner work is more important than, and bears a greater influence on, any other business actions you take!

Too many business owners take actions from a defeated feeling of failure, a mindset of doubt and mistrust, an unwillingness to imagine a better outcome, and end up nurturing their failure. Then, when the outcomes are poor, they observe what they’ve created and then have more proof of their failure, frustration, doubt, and mistrust. It’s a vicious cycle.

Rather than take full responsibility for their power, the unconscious business owner will blame others, the economy, or ‘circumstances’, completely unaware that THEY are the ones who created all of it!

Here’s the good news: It’s never too late to become a conscious business owner and step into our true creative power. Whatever we’ve created, we can begin anew and create differently.

By honoring our inner guidance, consciously choosing to trust ourselves, affirming/meditating on/visualizing our good, taking full responsibility for our state of being, and actively nurture our success.

That is how we step into our true power of creation as a business owner.

Don’t just take my word for it, though. Give it a try for yourself…and keep in touch. If you are struggling, I am here to help. If you’ve already been doing this inner work for a while, share below in comments what you’ve experienced so others may benefit.

 

Image credit: hjalmeida

Q&A: Help Me Fix this Nightmare Business Partnership!

BadPartnership_croppedToday, I have a Q&A to share. The question is long and the response is, too, but bear with me if you are in a similar situation. My intention is that it helps the questioner and many others.

As many of you know, while I support many people with my AffirmingSpirit teaching and mentoring, those who are most likely to hire me are creative and healing business professionals. I field questions on an on-going basis, and like to share those that could apply to a wide range of business owners.

Today’s question is this:

I don’t know how to manifest a positive outcome. I’m trying to reframe this situation in my mind and I am having such a hard time, so here it is unfiltered:

– my husband became 50/50 partners with what we now consider to be a bad person (I honestly tried to hold a vibration that he was a good, logical and reasonable person and truly feel that I was creating resistance by not accepting “what is” at the time…)

– In an ill-attempt to save money, they never hired a lawyer to formally draw up their contract, so the only thing that proves they were 50/50 owners is how they have run the business the last 8 years (which I do feel adequately proves that)

– in January, they verbally agreed on a buyout settlement amount where his business partner would pay my husband for his 50% of the business (this was an incredibly conservative and reasonable number that a trusted 3rd party came to based on company valuations that we agreed to because we wanted to get the hell away from him and his bad vibes).

– After this buyout settlement, we sold our home and moved 3hrs away, going into significant debt to make it all happen…all while waiting for the buyout to complete (it was never expected to not be settled by March-April timeframe)

– Since then, his business partner has dropped the amount and keeps adding bills/fees to the equation (which of course even further lowers the amount)

– As of last night, he now literally wants us to PAY HIM to take full ownership of the company. I literally can’t think straight because I cannot even begin to comprehend what is going on in his mind. This was a thriving business mind you, and my husband already transitioned his clients over to the business partner in good faith.

I just feel all the wrong things right now. I’m angry, I’m frustrated, I feel like he is trying to royally screw us and I guess I am just wondering…if this were you, if you found yourself in this situation, how would you manifest a positive outcome?

Most business owners will admit that, at one time or another, they’ve had an experience where they “trusted someone” in relation to their business and the situation did not work out as they thought it would. Now in my 21st year in business, I am no exception to this.

However, as a business teacher and mentor, my job is not to commiserate with you, but to help you gain a new, more helpful, perspective. So here is my take on this question, which could apply to many business owners who have an on-going issue with business partners or vendors or clients, or all of the above.

• First, I’d like to invite you to imagine that this situation, in all its drama and he-said/she said, is actually a HUGE BLESSING in your life and your business. Are you willing to open the door to that possibility, even if you don’t exactly see how to get there right now? If not, then go relax and come back when you can.

As someone who has been through this process many times, I can guarantee you this situation (and this person who is involved) is a wonderful gift—even if you cannot see that right now. When you’re ready, let’s see how that could be so…

• Secondly, it’s good in these red-hot moments to remember: Nothing is ever set in stone. Whatever we’ve created, we can re-create, because energy is always responding to our intentions. This is true for everything, including our businesses. We can conjure new emotions, new attitudes, new perspectives that replace the old ones, and we can practice the new long enough that the old begins to fade away from our experience.

If you and your husband are willing to take the time to heal the underlying issue that created this and work together to create a new, more empowering outcome for all involved, this could be one of the experiences that improves both your relationship and your financials moving forward.

Let’s begin looking at the question itself: The first point that stood out for me is the mention of the business partner long being considered a ‘bad person’.

Conscious business owners understand that everything is energy, and that the Universe is always mirroring back what we send out via people, situations, and events. We call this mirroring effect “The Law of Attraction”. Catherine Ponder calls it the Law of Radiation and Attraction, to explain the energetic round trip.

Situations like this are the way a business owner shifts from the mainstream business of “us against them” world, to being a conscious business owner who understands the role of energy in creating results.

Whenever we observe something we don’t like, and label it (in this case: business partner is a ‘bad person’), that label and the energy behind it becomes the *signal* that we are sending out to the Universe. The label is, itself, a repetitive affirmation!!! The Universe can only mirror back to us what we send out.

What kind of mirror can Universe provide if you’ve decided that the other party is a ‘bad person’? That’s right: Universe will show you ALL the ways that it’s possible for the other party to behave badly! Sounds to me like your affirmation of ‘bad person’ has been working like a dream! (And to think people tell me they can’t get affirmations to work for them…yet they forget about all the negative affirmations they are using that overpower the positive ones!)

Remember, the Law of Attraction always makes us *right* by mirroring back to us energetically what we are sending out. Is now the time to begin sending out a different signal?

This is also how a conscious business owner discovers what energy they are REALLY sending out. Issues with business partners, vendors, and/or clients is just *information*…letting you know where your energy is coming from on this subject. Change your energy, and the world around you must shift. By law (of attraction), it must.

Ignoring this information, or blaming the other party, makes you a victim and shuts down your ability to take control and create something different. You’ll remain in deadlock until you energetically regain your power by taking ownership and taking the next-steps.

In my experience with this, the initial *sting* of taking responsibility is soon followed by a deeper understanding of why I created this experience (usually to heal a previous trauma) and then, surprisingly (!) a deep appreciation for the other parties involved for helping me *see and heal* the previous trauma. In the end, taking responsibility is freeing and leads to many good things.

• The Questioner wrote: I honestly tried to hold a vibration that he was a good, logical and reasonable person and truly feel that I was creating resistance by not accepting “what is” at the time…

Is it possible that the real source of the resistance was labeling and affirming this business partner as a ‘bad person’ while simultaneously choosing to feel good about them?

This is not about ignoring what is…as ‘what is’ is only an energetic reflection of what you’re sending out. What you are describing is actually a great real-life example of counter-intentions: Affirming one thing (‘bad person’) while simultaneously trying to force yourself to feel good about this business partner. The energies are at cross-purposes, splitting your energy, leaving you feeling the resistance. Until you pick a side and commit to that, your split energy will create a feeling of resistance within.

• The next few segments of the question focus around the legal issues. I won’t comment directly on those, except to ask a question…

What would cause us to choose to put ourselves and our businesses in a situation that could make us vulnerable in the future?

This is an important question because it might actually help us understand how this situation is really a blessing! If you cannot answer this question immediately, then just hold it lightly, as we continue to move forward. The answer will come to you, when you are ready.

As I see it, both you and your husband have an opportunity to heal yourselves, improve the situation, and strengthen your own partnership through this situation. Are you beginning to see how, then, this situation is really a gift for both of you?

• The Questioner wrote: …all while waiting for the buyout to complete (it was never expected to not be settled by March-April timeframe)

In this next part of the question, it sounds to me as if you and your husband took some calculated risks based on the decisions you had made with your business partner…aka the ‘bad person’. Calculated risks are common for business owners. The energy behind calculated risks is more important than the actions themselves. Like any part of life, if you are more vibrationally aligned with your intentions, the actions taken will likely result in a positive outcome.

The good news is that it’s never too late to become vibrationally aligned!!!

So, now that you’ve created and repetitively affirmed the ‘bad person’ business partner, and the Universe is lovingly mirroring that back to you, showing you how many ways they can be bad…was the risk of moving and starting over calculated from a place of empowerment…or from fear and ‘we’ve got to get away from this bad person?

I don’t know about you, but having my entire financial future resting on the completion of the buyout, that I never set up legally, could potentially put me in a place of desperation, victimization, with a strong attachment to the outcome in a specific timeframe.

• The Questioner wrote: I literally can’t think straight -and- I just feel all the wrong things right now. I’m angry, I’m frustrated, I feel like he is trying to royally screw us

These statements (affirmations) are another clue about your vibe…and of course, when your vibe is low, you will NOT be able to think straight. No one can. It’s physically impossible for the brain to function clearly when our vibration is that low. So, when you feel this way, don’t even try to find solutions because you are not vibrationally in the vicinity to receive them.

Go find a way to relax. Take a walk. Take a nap. Take a hot, aromatherapy bath. Cuddle with your pet(s) or children. Call a friend and get your mind off the ‘problem’ for a while. Do whatever it takes for you to find a better feeling place on this subject.

For what it’s worth, when I feel like this, a nap is often the fastest and most efficient way of releasing the energetic kink. Before I drift off to sleep, I’ll invoke ‘Easy World’ by stating, “I live in Easy World where everything is easy, including creating the best possible outcome for (fill in the blank).” Many times, when I wake up after doing this prior to a nap, I am in a much more clear space to think how I’d prefer to experience this outcome.

If this were me, this is how I would re-create this situation:

I’d start reframing this situation by having my husband and myself acknowledge our individual roles in creating the situation, because that is the place where your power to shift the energy resides. Until you do, you remain victims.

I’d remind myself that…

Abraham tells us that the greater part of us, our Inner Being, will only side with the viewpoint of Source Energy. Source sees love and appreciation in every situation. Source know the blessings abound, even in the midst of what we perceive as contrast. So anytime we are focusing in a way that Source Energy would not perceive a situation, it leaves us feeling the negative discord between our viewpoint and that of Source Energy.

…and ask myself how Source might view this situation, and how I might be able to see it the same, someday soon.

Healing Past Traumas
To heal whatever allowed us to set up a situation like this, I’d have my husband and I do the following exercise on our own…and compare notes afterward.

This is experiential, so don’t just read it. Do the following in this order…

1. Put your hand on your heart, and take your conscious, thinking energy (hovering around your brain) inside your body to the area around your heart.

2. Ask yourself how this entire situation feels emotionally to you. The descriptive words are less important than the actual physical feeling. Fully allow yourself to feel that feeling in your body.

3. With the feeling in your body, ask: “When was the first time that I felt this feeling?”

4. Usually, an immediate answer will come to you. If it doesn’t, stay with the feeling and the question until you know. Don’t be surprised if tears of relief show up upon realizing the emotional connection.

5. Once you remember the situation that felt the same, ask yourself: Based on what I know now, how could I *see this previous trauma differently*?

Allow yourself to acknowledge that you previously did not have the skills or strength to heal this trauma until now, feel the emotional charge release, let yourself cry if tears want to flow, and internally know how you would handle it differently.

This does take some self-awareness, but any adult can do this. Often, we are only provoked into healing a past trauma when a crisis makes it necessary.

6. Know that this whole situation and the person(s) involved are here to help you heal THAT situation. Without them, you would not have had the opportunity to review this previous trauma from a more adult point of view!

(If either of you are like me, the original situation happened earlier in your life when you were either too young or too inexperienced to know how to fully process your feelings. So, those feelings became energetically stuck in your unconscious for healing at a later time. Like right now!)

7. When you feel the charge lifted, appreciation is often the result. Silently surround the situation and parties involved with white light and love, then thank all involved for showing up ‘as the bad guy’ so that you could review this earlier life trauma from a more enlightened, conscious point of view. Feel the appreciation in your heart and stay with it as long as it feels good.

(This is the point where I often feel DEEP appreciation and am humbled that someone would be willing to play the ‘bad guy’ role in order for me to heal. Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage,” and I see us as the writer, director, and primary actor of our whole life, with others playing the supporting roles. Also, I see this as a HUGE blessing…how about you?)

Now is a good time for you and your husband to share your discoveries with each other. You may each be surprised that the emotional trauma was different for each of you, but they still *brought up emotions that needed to be healed* in relation to this situation.

In the past, when I’ve done this process, I’ve discovered parts of me that felt unheard or unappreciated or unsafe. The moment that I was able to connect emotionally to a past trauma, I realized that the current ‘crisis’ was not about the other person, it’s ENTIRELY about me recreating past trauma!

Nothing ‘out there’ can ever hurt us. Our true source of suffering is our faulty beliefs we have going on inside of us. A Course In Miracles (ACIM) tells us that the outside world is an illusion, just a reflection of the meaning we’ve applied in our inner world. When we shift our inner world, the outside illusion will also shift.

After taking responsibility and healing my past trauma, my energy becomes remarkably clear. From this space, I’d begin re-imagining the preferred outcome. (If you have not read Neville Goddard’s approach to changing the past through ‘re-visioning’, check it out in Chapter 3 of The Law and the Promise.)

This ‘re-visioning’ is an exercise that you and your husband can work on together. (Hint: If you’re stuck, start by writing everything you don’t like on separate lines, then next to each write the opposite of each item. The ‘opposite’ of contrast is pointing you toward what you prefer. Take the bounce!)

I’d also begin making a list of how this experience was a blessing, starting with:

1. The situation allowed me to acknowledge a past trauma I had forgotten
2. A chance to heal that past trauma and see it with new eyes
3. An opportunity to create something better through transformation
4. (keep adding to the list, as the blessings show up)
5.

I’d call upon the ancient Hawaiian technique of Ho’oponopono to further clear my energy around the subject, and infuse it with love and appreciation. Not only have I found this to work, but I find that it is very pleasant to experience.

Florence Scovel Shinn said something like, Divine Love is the most powerful chemical in the Universe, dissolving everything that is not of it. Wow, that’s powerful. For that reason alone, I’d find reasons to energetically flood all parties involved with Divine Love, including myself!

In my experience, when I felt that I needed to deliver a message to someone but knew they would not be open to hearing it from me, I envision them receiving the message from someone else from whom they would be able to receive the message. I don’t need to be the one to deliver it, and I don’t need to dictate who will deliver the message, as long as the message is received.

Or, I’d visualize my higher self speaking to their higher self, sharing the message from a loving and kind place.

So, I might see my business partner receiving the message that assets and liabilities are always divided equally, and that there can be no charges (liabilities) added where there are no assets also added. I’d envision that, despite the lack of a legal agreement, everyone involved chooses to be treated fairly. I’d envision this partner receiving and acknowledging that is how they would also wish to be treated, feeling encouraged to take the first steps toward correcting this situation.

Despite past appearances, or actions, I’d envision an outcome where all involved are treated fairly and honestly.

I’d envision everyone walking away with a smile and a good feeling in their heart.

I’d see the checks to pay off all debt easily being written, placed into envelopes, and mailed (or see myself paying off the debt online).

I’d feel and milk the relief of having all the debt paid off, and knowing that the energy is cleared between myself and the other parties.

I’d revisit these visions and feelings every day, perhaps several times a day, and every time I thought about this person or situation, I’d review my list of blessings until I felt an emotional shift. Then, in this better-feeling place, I’d revisit the positive outcome visions again.

I’d milk all the positive emotions in other aspects of life and business. Despite how we might feel like everything is going to hell in a hand-basket, the truth is that often 80-90% of our life is going really well. We’ve just been focusing on the 10-20% that’s off and letting that define our life and business! Crazy-making, huh?!?

In my experience, when I’ve taken the steps above, positive shifts take place first within me, and then they are mirrored in the world outside. How long it takes depends on me, and how committed I am to the ‘new story’ and ready to let go of the old one (including those old affirmations).

Thank you very much to today’s questioner for being vulnerable enough to ask the question, and willing to let me share this publicly on the blog. I can easily imagine that this is helping them as well as many others!

Is there anything else that you would say to this questioner? If so, please take a moment to share it below in the comments…

Image credit: elisanth

Activate Your Thought Bouncer!

Bouncer_behindCurtain

Yesterday, I hosted an LOA Sales call with Good Vibe University’s resident Sales Pro. Many at GVU know Julie as a naturally upbeat and happy person, who has been successful in sales for many years. Privately, I’ve been asking Julie to do a call for GVU since 2010, knowing that many self-employed conscious creators could benefit from her suggestions and insights. You can imagine how delighted I was when we could finally schedule a call and open this conversation!

Being savvy with the principles of Law of Attraction, Julie often produces well above her peers, having learned to follow her own guidance versus traditional sales management techniques. Of course, because she’s such a top producer, management tends to let her do whatever she’s decided is best. After all, it’s working for her as well as for her employer!

In our conversation, Julie quickly pin-pointed some key requirements to tap into for anyone who is ready to build sales. Top on the list was strictly managing our own self-talk. One of Julie’s tips was to bring in a “Thought Bouncer”…to promptly bounce out the thoughts that aren’t serving us. She suggested we imagine our Thought Bouncer standing behind the red velvet rope, unwilling to let an undeserving (and under serving) thought pass through.

Her suggestion evoked the image of a humor-less being, unwilling to let anyone in that “wasn’t on the list”. I have to say, the idea just delights me!

You may recall that Abraham has said that managing our thoughts can be overwhelming and crazy-making, but when we focus on how we feel, then we can more quickly see that thoughts which do not serve us also do not feel good when we think them. That’s how we know the thought is not serving us, because if it doesn’t feel good, the outcome of that thought will also not feel good.

So, keep your Thought Bouncer on standby, ever ready for those negative feelings to trigger the thought-bouncing actions.

In this way, business owners can begin proactively taking responsibility for their thoughts and self-talk, so they can keep their focus zeroed in on the success and well-being of their business. Doing so inoculates business owners from the negative thought-forms of frustrated peers and the media.

Julie also talked about (and I second) the importance of having a positive tribe to connect with, surrounding yourself with positive, like-minded people. She is (and I am, too) very thankful to find and join Good Vibe University in 2010. As we surround ourselves with positive people who can see and support the many possibilities for success, it is not only more enjoyable, but we’ll experience the benefits of that tribe.

If you are surrounded by people complaining about the economy, how hard it is to market and sell to clients, how impossible it is to make money, not to mention the general state of the world, for the sake of your well-being and your business it’s time for your Thought Bouncer to close down that club and find a new tribe!

What do you think…are you ready to activate your Thought Bouncer? Share your thoughts below…

P.S. For those who are interested in listening to the recording of the LOA Sales call with Julie, it is available for free to Good Vibe University members. If you are not yet a member of this upbeat and positive-focused community, you can enjoy a 21 day trial for just $1. When you join, be sure to say hello!

image credits: Bouncer: Andrey Popov; Red Velvet Curtain: Deyan Georgiev

Watch Those Labels!

plane_with_label_trimmed

Do you find yourself observing life and labeling what you see as good, bad, or otherwise?

When most people think of affirmations, they think of POSITIVE affirmations. However, we can affirm a negative as easily as a positive. Whatever we focus upon and tell ourselves, or others, is a form of affirmation. How we FEEL inside when we say an affirmation gives us a clue whether it was a positive or a negative affirmation.

If a statement feels light and good to say, it qualifies as a positive affirmation. If a statement feels heavy and low vibration, then that would be a negative affirmation.

In fact, if you are often depressed or struggling to think positive, it is very likely you affirm more negatives than positives. Try reminding yourself to state more positives than negatives, and you will find yourself feeling better. Positive psychology research shows that a 3 to 1 positive to negative ratio is the tipping point for feeling happier¹.

We also affirm, either negatively or positively, when we apply labels to our situation.
This matters because our sub-conscious is ALWAYS listening and acting on what we are saying (aloud or to ourselves). The good news is that we can change what we affirm and change the outcome!

For instance, recently I arranged for a friend to take me to the airport so I could attend my mother’s funeral back East. I scheduled him to pick me up so we would arrive at the airport 90 minutes before takeoff, and I set my alarm 3.25 hrs before the pickup time.  Through a series of events about which I will not elaborate (I’ve learned not to expound on the frustrating stories), I managed to oversleep my alarm AND not hear the phone calls my friend repeatedly made when he came to pick me up. With the time to leave for the airport passing, I suddenly heard my phone ringing downstairs and it finally woke me up.

As you can imagine, I was in a state of panic and very vulnerable to labeling this situation a disaster when I realized I had overslept by 3 hours and could miss the plane if we didn’t leave as soon as possible. My friend is a Veteran, so his military training kicked in when he finally got me on the phone and realized I had only just woken up. To the degree that I was losing it, he was calm and collected.

He quickly parked his car in the culd-a-sac, and reassured me over the phone that we would take it one step at a time. My friend came in to help me take out the garbage, and lock up the suitcase before taking it out to the car. In my panic, shoving things in the suitcase, he suggested I postpone all non-essential actions, and put on my makeup while he drove to the airport.

When he took my suitcase out to his car, the local police were giving him a ticket for his back tire being more than 18 inches from the curved curb of the culd-a-sac (it didn’t look that far away, but I was still freaking out, in a hurry to get to the airport). This was just an unbelievable series of setbacks. My friend wouldn’t even had to park if I had been on time, so I made sure I gave him the money for the ticket.

Between my lateness and my friend dealing with the police, we were running 35 minutes behind getting to the airport.

As a side note, I am so *blessed* that I had opted for my friend to pick me up rather than a commercial car service! The latter would have called me once and left when I didn’t answer the phone the first time. My friend had patiently and repeatedly called and emailed over a 20 minute period. He even tried contacting me through Facebook, hoping to reach me. So, my best decision by far, in this scenario, was having the forethought to ask my friend if I could pay him (a single Dad) to take me there.

I hope you can imagine how frantic I was feeling, knowing how important it was for me to catch this flight. Fortunately, my friend was newly introduced to the teachings of Abraham. So, as we drove off toward the airport, he picked up on my efforts to positively label and affirm the situation.

Our conversation went something like this:

Me:(as my friend hands me the keys to my locked suitcase and starts his car) OK, we are going to get to the airport on time! (positive affirmation)

Friend: We’ll make it. (positive affirmation) Good thing you had mostly everything pre-packed. (supportive positive affirmation)

Me: Yeah, I did everything I could do in advance last night. Of course, I expected to have 3 hours to leisurely take care of the rest this morning. (based on the emotion I was feeling while saying this, it qualifies as a negative affirmation…this would have been better left unsaid)

Me: Time is malleable…it changes according to our beliefs about it. (determined positive affirmation reminding me why this was going to work out)

Friend: That’s right, it is! (supportive affirmation)

Me: I’m going to make this flight! (positive affirmation)

Friend: When is it your plane is taking off?

Me: 90 minutes from now.

Friend: Oh, then we’ll be fine! (positive affirmation) I’ve caught flights before with only 30 minutes to takeoff! (supportive affirmation)

Me: You have?!? Wow…ok, then I can relax! (supportive positive affirmation)

I must admit that as soon as he affirmed that he’d made flights with less time, I immediately felt the relief…and regained my ability to breathe normal.

And, indeed, I did get to the airport in time!

As I checked my bag, Security was to the left and past that, my gate was the first one on the right…and they were already boarding. I caught the flight, despite waking up so late, and I know that our positive focus is part of the reason why.

In my panic at the realization of how late I was, my brain wanted to label this a hopelessly BAD disaster. I was very vulnerable to falling into a trap of believing that all hope was lost, and letting my ‘label’ override other thoughts and drive other actions. It would have been easy to agree with ‘what is’after all, I *did* woke up 3.25 hours late.

But I am savvy enough to know the power of labels and affirming what I prefer rather than what is. I know that situations morph in seconds when we affirm with true feeling and conviction, and hold that truth in our hearts even when ‘what is’ is contradicting.

Keep in mind that I didn’t develop this skill overnight…I’ve been practicing affirming new stories for decades, and I’ve had many experiences where the seemingly *impossible* came together for me after I committed to affirming my preference.

Since our labels become affirmations for our life experiences, it’s good to pay attention to what you have been labeling good, bad, right, wrong, solution or problem in your life. There’s good news here, as labels and affirmations are not set in stone.

If you notice where your labeling has been holding you back, make the decision to change the label and begin affirming your preference over the appearance of “what is”. You’ll be amazed how quickly things morph when you recognize the need for a label change and consciously choose to affirm what feels better to you!

Do you have stories of where you changed your label of a situation, and things worked out well? I’d love it if you shared it below for others to enjoy.

P.S. While I was on the trip, I found myself telling the *story* of what went wrong with oversleeping and the police. After feeling the negative energy of that, I made the decision to drop the ‘what is’ negative story and refocus my attention on what went right.

When I returned from the trip, my friend confided that he really thought I had missed the flight, but he didn’t want to say that to me. Despite his *doubts*, he was willing to play along with my positive affirmations and even added comments that brought relief. I didn’t know he had doubts, though, so his support bolstered my own belief and alignment. Just goes to show, only one person really has to *believe* it’s possible!

 

Footnote:
¹Barbara Frederickson, PhD. coined this the Positivity Ratio. Learn more at http://www.positivityratio.com/

 

Image Credit: (tag) macgyverhh and (plane) Kirill Cherezov

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