Years ago, I knew someone who used to call me every few hours insisting that she ‘needed me’ to solve the crisis-of-the-moment. In reality, none of these crises actually existed, except in this person’s mind. Despite being fully capable of handling these crises herself, she had convinced herself that I was the *only* person who could help.
Initially, I spent copious time patiently reassuring her and answering her same questions over and over and over. Talking to her positively, encouraging her to see the bigger picture. Meanwhile, I kept wondering WHY this particular person constantly calling with dramatic stories of needing rescue.
Then, it dawned on me.
This was a common pattern for this gal. Despite being fully qualified in many ways, she had convinced herself that she wasn’t…and that she needed others to rescue her…everyday! She was clearly carrying a story around that must have been something like:
OH, NO…I don’t think I can handle this. This is too hard! I’m not capable or smart enough to figure this out. I don’t want to be alone with this [fill in the blank problem] because there’s NO WAY I can figure it out myself. Someone else has to help me! OMG – HELP! CRISIS! DISASTER LOOMS…HELP…HELP!!!
While she unconsciously stoked the feelings of urgency, crisis, lack and ‘need’ within herself, it was manifesting in her outer world…or, rather it appeared to her as manifesting. To me, she seemed to be anticipating problems more than actually experiencing them. Law of Attraction was lining her up with experiences that would make her right. How we show up in the world reflects our self-talk and deepest inner beliefs.
As I type this, and reflect back on this time in my life, this person was also a mirror for me to see my own ‘need to rescue’. Since like vibrations cohere, Law of Attraction was responding to my need by lining me up with someone who needed to be rescued.
In the beginning, I was happy to be of assistance. But over time, it was no longer fun for me to interact with this friend only in this way. In fact, it was downright exhausting and it was not a functional friendship since I was only called to put out fires, not to relate as a friend.
Do you recognize yourself in either of these examples?
If you like this experience, by all means, keep creating it! If you don’t then in order for Law of Attraction to deliver something different, you have to be willing to shift your energy. That sounds tricky, but it’s not as difficult as you might think.
First, start telling a different story. Even if it’s just a softer version of the story you’ve been telling yourself, begin anew. This friend might have started by shifting her self-talk to something like, I usually like to have help, but I am a capable adult…I wonder how much of this I can resolve on my own. If I can’t figure it out by [date], then I will ask around. Then, taking any actions that she felt guided to take that aligned with the new story.
If telling the new story feels too hard, or brings up lower energies of fear, worry, and doubt, it can be helpful to use a tool like EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to address those feelings and begin to clear them before you start telling a new story.
The new story I actually told myself to shift out of this experience was I appreciate and cultivate healthy, functional friendships with kind people who are capable and helpful. Abraham has said, when we shift our own energy, our experience must shift in response. In fact, other people may meet us in the new vibration, or they may vibrate right out of our experience. In this particular situation, the person seemed to magically stop calling me, and eventually we lost touch. As I let go of the ‘need to rescue’, this person may have lost the need for help or may have connected with someone else who ‘needed to rescue’.
Second, remember times in your past when you exhibited capability. Chances are, you have many, but may not give them much mental attention. Change that now…close your eyes, remember those times, and feel how it feels in your body. Remember this feeling so you can call it up when feeling capable is desired.
Third, look without attachment for evidence that your new story is materializing. In other words, release attachment but allow the evidence to reveal itself to you.
Finally, practice. The next time you are feeling needy, remember this is a golden opportunity to practice a new vibration. Practice makes perfect, so remember the new story and implement it. Call up the memories from the past, and remember the evidence all around you.
Got an experience with this? Share your story in the comments below…