Yes, you bring up a good point about consciousness and ego. The terms conscious and unconscious originally referred to being physically awake or asleep, but have morphed to include being Spiritually awake or asleep.

A healthy ego is necessary to function in society. However, it can become a problem for creative types who get caught in the desire to control all outcomes~especially regarding clients. In extreme examples, the term ego-maniacal really applies as the person is then operating from an unhealthy ego.

Hi, Sheila! Thanks for stopping by.

Many blessings,
Nancy
.-= AffirmingSpirit´s last blog ..Best Wishes for a Lovely Holiday and Wonder-filled New Year! =-.

It seems, in common parlance at least, the ego has taken to mean “self-esteem” or “self-worth”. As a business coach I see it so often in teams that the need for invulnerability gets in the way of developing the trust and intimacy necessary for a client or organization’s professional development. It’s such a shame. But the walls people build to protect themselves are the same walls that keep others from connecting with them in a deep and meaningful way. They hide behind their expertise instead of risking honest dialogue that would have to make them open themselves up to new ideas and self-reflection.

I would say that to serve a client well, do bring along your ego, but know your own boundaries and be willing to let go of the expert’s hat. If you can find a way to build trust with a client and get them to surface the real issues, amazing and transformative work can take place. Always remember, this is a process and not an event. We are all too often own own worst critics and try to inspire others when we can not remember the last time we spoke to ourselves kindly or with an inspiring thought about own own actions.

Peace be upon you,
Tom

You and Iyabo have really touched upon what the difference is between a *family member* or a *friend* versus a coach or therapist:

Like you I share my expertise when appropriate and offer tools when needed but I never go into a session with an agenda unless the client and I have agreed upon doing so.

This is why it’s worth hiring a coach or therapist. A family member or friend is much more likely come to a discussion with their own agenda and their own limiting viewpoints (about who you are and what you are capable of accomplishing).

A coach or therapist, comes with the dedicated interest in helping you and *holds* the space for the client. It’s an amazingly nurturing place from which to grow in consciousness and accomplishment.

I also thought of Dyer’s “Edging God Out” when I was writing this, but I hadn’t heard of the ACIM quote. Thank you for sharing that and all your insights!

Many blessings,
Nancy
.-= AffirmingSpirit´s last blog ..Effective Solopreneur: Offering Pure Service =-.

I was trained as a counselor in a holistic psychology program and learned that listening to the client and asking questions helped them connect with their own inner knowing. I always start a session with checking in with the client first, listening to what their current issue may be, then taking it from there in terms of what may be best for them at that moment.

I loved that you express the importance of showing up with an open heart and a pure desire to serve. After all isn’t that what enabling another person is all about? And, yes, it definitely becomes a creative collaboration. Makes it so much more enriching.

Like you I share my expertise when appropriate and offer tools when needed but I never go into a session with an agenda unless the client and I have agreed upon doing so.

It is so rewarding when you get emails from your clients thanking you and telling you how much you have helped them. And I love being a part of their transformation, watching them evolve as well as hearing about the wonderful changes in their lives.

And, yes, from this comes referrals as they tell family and friends about you. People love to feel listened to, to know someone truly cares about them, someone who can be there in a non-judgmental way, a non controlling way and who puts their interests first.

Nancy, when you talk about putting one’s ego aside, I am reminded of a couple of things Wayne Dyer has said. One is his explanation of EGO which he calls “Edging God Out”. The other is a quote he said he got from a Course in Miracles. It goes something like this: “At every moment we have a choice – whether to be a slave to our egos or a servant of God.” I think we have made a wise choice : )

Light & Blessings,
Susan

This particular point struck me:

This is a great point you make because many of us want to be “experts” and this is a good goal but not if we are focused on showing the client how knowledgeable we are and how they need us.

That is really the point. When our egos are so involved in proving our expert status, we are no longer in a position to put the client’s needs first!

I also *love* your example of trusting one client’s decision that lead to receiving a referral! That has also happened to me several times. I’ve referred potential clients to others when it was in their best interest, and that always brings them back to me. One employee at a fast-rising corporation was so impressed that I didn’t take her project when I saw it was not in her best interest to do so, that she went around telling everyone to hire me~and they did! )

Thank you for making an excellent point and sharing your personal experience!

Many blessings,
Nancy

When we show up for the client, fully present, it is about the client.

This is a great point you make because many of us want to be “experts” and this is a good goal but not if we are focused on showing the client how knowledgeable we are and how they need us.

Someone recently contacted me to coach and agreed that she would sign up. She said she would pay online. The next day, she emailed me and said she decided to wait until January. So, I emailed her and wished her well and blessed her holiday season and told her I looked forward to connecting with her in January.

She then emailed me back and said she was shocked that I did not accuse her of “running away from coaching because she was not ready to deal with it.”

I told her that I am sure she is a powerful woman of wisdom, resource and strength and so I was treating her as that. Obviously she knows her schedule and her calender and that is what works for her.

I was slightly disappointed that I did not get to coach her right way but I got happy thinking about coaching her in January.

Well, the next day, someone called and told me that she was ready to be coached immediately and she was referred to me by the first lady. I thought that was hilarious and lovely.

Thanks for reminding us to listen to our clients. That is what we are here for.

Hugs,

Iyabo
.-= Iyabo Asani, The Inner Genius Coach´s last blog ..Celebrate Your Money Genius =-.