Do You Argue For Your Limitations?

Have you ever met someone who complains for hours about all the problems in their lives, then when offered several really great solutions they begin to argue about why they must continue to do what is clearly not working for them? This is called “arguing for your limitations”~arguing for why it’s impossible to change, why it’s necessary remain stuck in misery.

Like a proverbial stuck record, this person is convinced that the world is out to get them, nothing goes their way, all the existing solutions and opportunities have failed them (even while they work beautifully for others). Furthermore, if they try to change what’s not working for them, they are convinced it will turn out *worse* than it already is! This person will argue for hours about why *nothing will ever change*.

Convinced that nothing works, that is in fact what these people experience ~and they can PROVE it! In fact, they could go on for days with example after example of how this is true. Deep down, these people feel powerless and keep wondering why someone doesn’t come along an *solve* the problem for them.

The sad irony is~even if others DID solve their problems, it would only be temporary because this person believes and is therefore attracting “nothing works for me, my life is constant struggle”. Whatever gains they receive through others helping them is quickly lost, and they are soon back behind the eight-ball of life. They are forever stuck in a cycle of nothing working and constant struggle.

You may think you are pretty evolved and are grateful you are not like this. However, many who consider themselves conscious and deliberate creators about most subjects may find that they still harbor similar attitudes on *certain subjects*. Money is the most common one for individuals. Business owners often have it about selling and marketing.

Is there an area of your life where nothing seems to be working, and everything you try fails? How often do you tell *that* story? Do you find yourself justifying why your problem is unsolvable? These are all signs that you *might* be spending some of your energy arguing for your limitations on this subject.

If you think you might be limiting yourself in a certain area, ask yourself:

How has this limiting belief served me? We usually took on a limiting belief to protect ourselves when we were younger, without realizing we have outgrown the need as an adult. Be grateful for how it has served you and recognize why you no longer need it.

How would I show up in the world if I didn’t believe this? How does it feel when you consider a life without this belief?

What would it take for me to feel safe in replacing this limiting belief with a supportive one? When you know what you don’t want, it points to what you DO want. By choosing supportive thoughts ahead of time, and developing a plan you can implement, you have something to turn to in lieu of the limiting beliefs.

Based on your answer to the last question, begin implementing your plan for replacing the belief. Then, notice what begins to change around you.

Just like it’s important to clear the physical clutter, it’s important to release the limiting beliefs that no longer serve us.

Note: If it just feels too scary to release a limiting belief, that’s OK, too. Recognizing it is the first step. You can always change your mind, or seek a coach or counselor to assist you in the process.

Are you harboring limiting beliefs? Have you recently let some go? What helped you release the beliefs that were not supporting you?

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20 thoughts on “Do You Argue For Your Limitations?

  1. Goodness, Nancy!

    The limiting belief that I have been working on is that “I am not good enough”. This is a core issue of mine – a message I received from my Dad when I was a kid.

    I like your suggestions. They are a little different than what I do, yet very effective.

    First, I can see how this belief has kept me feeling safe. That is how it has served me.

    Second, if I didn’t have this belief life would be easier. It would free up more time.

    And third, I could replace this belief with one that supports me. What I do in this case is to remind myself of my skills, talents and other strengths, positive qualities.

    My method is pretty similar. I first acknowledge myself for the awareness. I may then take a deep, cleansing breath and remind myself of my strengths, skills, talent. Then replace with a positive affirmation. I like to apply EFT (emotional freedom techniques) to situations like this. That helps to release the trauma from my energy system. I also notice where in my body I feel the tension and send Reiki (healing energy) to that area – deep breaths too.


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  3. I’ve known a few of those! In the end, we are all part of a self balancing system and none of us are truly in control. That being said – I feel blessed to play my part – as a piece of the whole, who gets to experience conscious participation in playing out the most joyful experiences available in this ever evolving system!

    If you recognise yourself as a ‘limited beliefs’ person and you also happen to be reading this blog, then I highly recommend you trust the flow of that. Every decision ‘you’ make is your ‘part’ and your path revealed in the moment. They Joy of it may be to spend some time with Nancy, and notice how your part and path change from limitation and pain to expansion and openness!

    Just a thought! ;0)

  4. This is such an important and timely post Nancy!

    Yes, as a coach, I meet many people that constantly argue for their limitations. Really, my job is so easy if a client is ready to let go of the story.

    Many times, arguing for your limitations is just identifying so strongly with your story that you do not know who you are without that story.


    .-= Iyabo Asani, The Inner Genius Coach´s last blog ..Consciously Choose Your Social System =-.

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  6. Susan, thank you for your comments…I’m sure there are *many* effective ways to approach this. EFT, The Work, and many others come to mind. For this post, I just typed what Infinite Divine channeled to me.

    Wait until you try Joel’s NPA Experiential Technique!!! WOW! That one bipasses ego & disbelief to create change on many levels. Tune in for December’s Co=Creation Cafe Call to hear him walk me through it. :o)

    Many blessings,
    .-= AffirmingSpirit´s last blog ..Do You Argue For Your Limitations? =-.

  7. Iyabo, there probably would be *no need* for coaches if clients could easily let go of their own stories. :o) Thank Goodness there is a need for coaches!!!

    I totally agree with your comment:

    Many times, arguing for your limitations is just identifying so strongly with your story that you do not know who you are without that story.

    That really hits the nail on the head for me! Thanks, Iyabo :o)

    Many blessings,
    .-= AffirmingSpirit´s last blog ..Do You Argue For Your Limitations? =-.

  8. Hi Nancy,
    My own recent post approaches this from a slightly different perspective with a similar objective. Reading what you wrote, especially your great questions, brought a belief I had long forgotten to awareness.

    I am currently focused on cleaning from my heart any memories which would limit the creation of some very large visions I am preparing to birth. I took a few minutes to apply your questions to a belief I haven’t thought about in a very long time, and the memories that are ready to be released popped right up. I doubt whether it matters if one starts with belief or memories, but I might not have been inspired to uncover those memories, if I hadn’t read your post.

    Time to let all these limiting stories be retired so we can get on with the lives we all came here to live!

    Blessings and thanks to you,
    .-= Kathleen Casey´s last blog ..Create From a Clean Heart =-.

    • Wow, Kathleen! That is a very powerful example you shared. Thank you for your authentic desire to share! :o) I am so glad that these questions were helpful. As I told Susan Eller, the questions came through me as I typed the blog, so I am grateful that Infinite Divine knew the questions that would be most helpful.

      It does not surprise me that you, and several others, blogged about similar topics. We are all connected, all receiving Divine Light and all shining that light so more and more and more people are open to it. Notice how many more people you can openly discuss this with who would not have been open 5 – 10 – 15 or more years ago. I love this *opening to light*!

      Many blessings,

  9. You asked: Are you harboring limiting beliefs? Have you recently let some go? What helped you release the beliefs that were not supporting you?

    Yes, I still have plenty of limiting beliefs even after working years to eliminate them. Our beliefs work for us until they no longer work! And it’s an excellent work to become conscious of our own limiting beliefs. I find the more I do this kind of work, the easier it becomes to understand human behavior. This kind of understanding lets compassion swell in the heart.

    This summer I worked on clearing the limiting belief “nobody cares about me.” The subject came up naturally during the Big Mind process at a workshop with Genpo Roshi. I also was blessed to watch as another conference-goer went through her stuff and found out that the “damaged self,” when brought to the surface nearly all the time is acting as a kind of hero to protect the Self from the rest of the world. The conditions that bring the “damaged self” (the one that complains all the time and is always acting hurt) are just what you said in your post: the self’s coping mechanism to childhood trauma. Now that the Self is a grownup, it’s time to recognize that some of these coping mechanisms no longer serve us!

    You said that doing this work is akin to clearing the physical clutter. I’m reminded of cleaning the mold out of the bathroom shower! I spray the mold and wipe it away one week, but several weeks later I notice more mold. It constantly returns and surfaces. That’s what my inner journey has been like. I clear one limiting belief, and that leads to me finding another one. I live with it a while as I notice it, then I wipe it away. It gets replaced with another…But it’s a joy; the constant joy of living and noticing being alive!
    .-= Jessica´s last blog ..Explorations into purpose =-.

  10. Excellent points, Jessica!

    I love the mold analogy, although I have used the *onion*~as you peel one layer, it reveals another, and another. I’ve heard Louise Hay refer to it another way…When we are young, the issues feel like boulders. Through living, we break them down until they get smaller and smaller, and by the time we reach the last half of our lives, they are more like gravel.

    Your example of healing the damaged self reminds me that sometimes the limiting beliefs show up later in our life, when we were deeply wounded and felt vulnerable. Whether they formed in our youth, or during our life, it’s best to release them once we no longer need them. Being willing to go through the inquiry process is essential to letting go of the limiting story.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us!

    Many blessings,
    .-= AffirmingSpirit´s last blog ..Do You Argue For Your Limitations? =-.

  11. I like that boulder to gravel analogy…it feels spot-on to me. The older I get, the smaller effect that other people’s ‘drama’ has on me, and the less drama I spit back out onto my story of life. But a prerequisite to this feeling is as you said, “Being willing to go through the inquiry process…”

    And thank you for running this beautiful blog and for your exquisite presence on Twitter.
    .-= Jessica´s last blog ..Explorations into purpose =-.

  12. Firstly Nancy, this a great post!

    It speaks levels to me. Second whoa Joel! I went cold for a minute there, I am not here alone just to comment I am also here because I need this!!

    Yes I knew this but was not until now willing to admit it, yay for me.

    Okay first off I just wanted to address the first part from my own experience and for anyone else reading this.

    I know someone that is just like that and the best thing I have found to do is …NOTHING! Don’t do anything with that person! Just leave he/she alone you don’t want his/her negative attitude and moreover you don’t want to start seeing things the way they do.

    Just give them love and continue doing whatever you are doing, because that is what you can do for yourself and for them. Because you are setting an example that speaks louder then any words you could say to him/her.

    Also this person just doesn’t want to take any responsibility for the way there life is and that it could possibly be their fault. I do say this in a loving way because I grew up with a family member like this and not taking a part in this is the most loving thing anyone can do.

    That being said I have been at fault for this myself, the area that needs and has needed attention is Money. I have carried around for to long a belief about it that was not my own, which is that I spend it faster then I get it.

    In all honesty I do not know what to replace it with, but I do have this to say. I have been using Morgana Rea’s technique’s with my relationship with money.

    Since we magnify money and all that it is and being that it is energy just like everything else it needs us to help spread its energy. By giving and receiving it, so after some much needed big change in my living circumstances as of yesterday and cleared clutter, that overshadowed me and who I am.

    I got this clear message that money wants me to spend it and feel the excited feeling of getting something I want and paying for it. This is what came up for me, and while I acknowledge my past beliefs that didn’t serve me with money and release them that is I know to do for right at this moment. Yet I feel strongly that it is just what I need Right Now.

    I have worked through many limiting beliefs but money is the one that I feel strongly about working on right now.

    With blessings, create a brilliant week!

    .-= Gaylena Collins´s last blog ..Trust don’t second guess. =-.

  13. Jessica, you are very welcome! I appreciate all the great & positive folks I’ve met through Twitter, like you. :o)

    Gaylena, sounds like you are clearing the physical AND the emotional clutter. Keep up the great work!

    You~and anyone else who can relate to your story~will *definitely* want to listen to Joel’s Co=Creation Cafe call about NPA that posts on December 5th. NPA= Non-Personal Awareness, is gentle, yet incredibly effective and will help you bipass the ego, as well as known & unknown blocks. In the meantime, do visit and listen to this call:

    Thank you, Jessica and Gaylena for making this blog so interesting!

    Many blessings,
    .-= AffirmingSpirit´s last blog ..Do You Argue For Your Limitations? =-.

  14. Great post Nancy. Makes me think of the quote: “What gets us in trouble is not what we don’t know. It’s what we know for sure that just ain’t so.”

    I found that I had to clear my block about creating a seven-figure income and prosperous business. It was an unconscious block until approximately two months ago. I was always thinking and saying that I could not create wealth in my life until I had a mentor because I did not have adequate knowledge/education to create it on my own.

    First, I became aware that I had this hot button so that I could later release it. I recently began to observe my thoughts about people who were running successful businesses. Some thoughts that always popped up was “she/he has great connections”, “she/he had large amounts of money to invest”, “he/she was already in the right environment”. I envied these people even though I rarely knew their history. Who ever said that I knew their truth or reality? Quite a story I told myself in my mind!

    I have now installed a new belief. Now my confession is “I have the ability to acquire, protect, and multiply wealth” and believe that I am being led to the right people, locations, opportunities to reach my goal. Instead of telling a story of ‘oh how priviledged they are’, I entertain my possibilities by asking myself “HOW can I ________” questions. This gives my subconscious mind a command to come up with solutions.

    We are all walking around in our own nest of beliefs. When we try to move forward and don’t seem to be getting anywhere, something in our nest of beliefs is causing us to be tripped up. If we have someone outside of us (mentor, coach, counselor) that helps us find those beliefs–that is of priceless value. They help us see our limitations and get past them. We change our beliefs and thus change our reality.

    .-= Rachel Lavern´s last blog ..Will You Finish Strong in 2009? =-.

  15. Thank you for your comment, Rachel~yours is an excellent example of how we have beliefs operating in our subconscious blind spot. The *signs* may show up, but we have to be *aware* to notice them as they show up.

    LOVE your new *installation*

    “I have the ability to acquire, protect, and multiply wealth” and believe that I am being led to the right people, locations, opportunities to reach my goal.

    When we let go of stories that are not supporting us in lieu of ones that do, it’s very powerful!

    Thank you, Rachel, so much for sharing your journey~those reading this will definitely benefit!

    Many blessings,
    .-= AffirmingSpirit´s last blog ..Do You Argue For Your Limitations? =-.

  16. Nancy,
    A thought provoking post with amazing comments…re-energizes my passion to motivate parents to raise their children knowing the power of the law of attraction and its principles so that their children will not be faced with such struggles in adulthood…my heart goes out to them. I was fortunate to have parents who raised me with these principles (although we didn’t know about the term “law of attraction”). My first eye opener was watching my husband struggle with the same kinds of things your readers have commented on. He had become a master at arguing his limitations. I am truly grateful that he has since opened his eyes and is allowing the healing energy of the Divine to guide him to wholeness.

    Be Blessed,

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