Are You Stuck in Your Story?

Are you stuck in your story?Regardless of your employment, relationship, or financial status, there is one thing that can make or break your success: The stories you tell yourself about why your life is the way it is today.

We each create our own story, usually empahsized with facts such as where we grew up, what our family is like, where we went to school, and how we got into our current field of work. Our story is how we describe who we are to ourselves and others. It is how we internally define ourselves and the basis from which we vibrate energy out into the world and take action. They play out not only in how we speak about ourselves, but in the actions we take on our behalf. This is why the stories we tell matter in every aspect of our life.

Our stories are the information we tell the people we are just meeting, or friends we’ve known for a long time, and represents the way we feel about ourselves. If you see yourself as a winner, your story reflects that. If you see yourself as a loser or down-on-your-luck, your story reflects that. Which story do you want to reflect?

Your story keeps evolving all throughout your entire life. If you are breathing, right now, you are telling yourself and/or others some story…the question is: Is the story you are telling yourself serving you in a positive way?

Our stories, like most, are affirmations for who and where we are in life. They almost always start with, “I am…”, and contain some ‘neutral facts’:

I am self-employed, and my clients are…

I am so easy-going that I often attract…

I am organized and self-sufficient, which means I tend to…

I am in my current financial situation because…

After the facts are laid out, however, our stories often include generalizations and beliefs we have about ourselves and others that dramatically affect our life experiences. They become negative affirmations, if you will, for things we don’t like about ourselves. Often, these beliefs are not universally true, or even accurate, but we will speak them, think them, and *act on them* as if they are.

Have you ever stopped to look at the “story” you’ve created so far?

Do you tell yourself and others that your life is productive, successful, and happy? Do you include the many successes of your life and why you are a worthwhile human? Do you support your own success, health, and well-being?

Do you make excuses to yourself and others for your results and make those part of your story? Do you blame others for the experiences that you attracted? Do you justify your behaviors as reasons why you can never have what you want? Do you assume your needs cannot be met, so you stop asking? Do you sabotage any potential for success and happiness?

If we are not conscious, the stories we tell ourselves can morph into subtle forms of self-sabotage. By virtue of the Law of Attraction, we naturally attract more of what we think/speak/act upon. If we are telling the same story, over and over, we are attracting the same result repeatedly and that leaves us feeling stuck. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

For example, someone contacted me saying that they were shocked to find their general attitudes described in one of my articles, “Getting Out of the *How* Business”. They thanked me for the insight, and I responded that I was glad the article had been helpful. They responded back saying, “When you are an organized person it’s hard to get over the *how*” . The words they wrote stopped me in my tracks because I knew they did not have to be true. I also knew immediately: This was the story this person had been telling themselves to justify their current experiences. They justified their current struggles by saying it was hard for an organized person to be open to how their life unfolds.

Being a coach at heart, I couldn’t let that comment rest. I had to say something. (spot the story that makes me think that though?)

I responded back asking if it’s really true that being organized makes it hard to get over the *how*, or is this the story they had been telling themselves? If the latter, I suggested they create a new, improved story for themselves that supported their success and happiness.

By asking that question, and pointing out the story, the recipient was able to make a shift. They emailed right back to share how this was helping them move forward.

It can be incredibly liberating to look back over your life and weed out the parts of your story that no longer serve you. If you have been growing in consciousness, who you are today is much more evolved than who you were 10 – 20 – 30 (or more) years ago. You may not be able to physically change what happened, but you certainly don’t need to speak about it, to yourself or others, dredge up all the negative feelings and dwell in that same energy for the rest of your life. You have a choice in fact, LOTS of choices in how you tell your story!

Start where you are, and imagine new improved story about yourself that supports your own success, health, and well-being.

What are your thoughts about the stories you’ve been telling?

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11 thoughts on “Are You Stuck in Your Story?

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention AffirmingSpirit Blog » Blog Archive » Are You Stuck in Your Story? -- Topsy.com

  2. Nancy, so well written. Thanks.

    I know the power of the stories we tell ourselves and I never thought of it that way, but indeed they are affirmations.

    So what are my stories?

    I am a loving person. I love to coach and empower other women to create wonderful lives. I am a good writer. I am a giving person. I am intuitive and smart. I enjoy my life and I love what I do.

    Now, my story is a little different about my body. I can see that I want to tweak that. “I have a slow metabolism. I really want to shed some excess weight.”

    New story: I am strong, healthy and energetic. My body is cooperative. I am in tune with my body.

    Hugs to you,

    Iyabo

  3. There are times when it feels like my story is stuck to me like trying to get double stick tape off my fingers – the more I try to get unstuck the more sticky I get! I find the best way to get out of my old story is to work on a new one. For awhile I have to do whatever it takes to put myself in a new mindset to create a new frame of reference for myself so my thoughts don’t go back to the familiarity of the old story.

    It’s an adventure to be sure.

    Funny too how other people try to tell you to “get back in your story!” I used to run back to my story and stay there. Not now, not ever again. And guess what, those other people wanna hear my new and improved story. It’s actually “attractive”.

  4. Iyabo, thank you for your comments and the wonderful way you modeled your new story. Isn’t it liberating to know you can change the story about your body *at any point*? No need to wait!

    Melody, you brought up an important point: It’s important to have a NEW story to replace the OLD one. Why? If you don’t, chances are you’ll slide back into the old, comfortable story. It’s like worn out slippers…they tend to be better than no slippers at all. So, yes, *consciously create your new story to replace the old stories that are no longer serving you—and practice turning to the new story. At first you may go to the old story by habit, so be gentle as you remind yourself that you now have a NEW story!

    Many blessings to you both!
    Nancy

  5. With all of the opportunities to tell “my story” these days, from the quick profile on twitter to the “About Me” on my blog, and the extensiveness of a profile on Facebook, there are all these snippets of my story.

    I often ponder about writing new ones every day. Because I know that when I am working on myself and am aware of all that (sometimes sabotaging) small talk, “my story” does change.

    Thanks for such wonderful advice.

  6. This is such an important part of truly living the law of attraction. It’s so easy to get caught up in our old stories, especially in a culture that tends to focus on what IS rather than on what can be. Telling your story the way you want it to be is a powerful process – it may intially feel like “lying,”, but let’s face it – reality is highly overrated :-). Why not tell the story the way we want it to be and then watch our life change in amazing ways?

    Thanks for the reminder, Nancy!

  7. Gosh, you ARE so right on the money here…for many years weird things would happen to us and we chalked it up to Murphy’s Law. In fact, we’d laugh and when something else odd would happen we’d say…’oh, we live according to Murphy’s Law.

    Then…one day I said, the hell with Murphy and his law. I mean, I actually said this out loud. I stopped accepting these funny/odd/weird happenings as ‘something that I attract’ and poof, I swear, they don’t happen anymore.

    This is a great post. Thank you. I need to focus on this one and a couple others in this blog so that I can think myself back on track. Thanks. 🙂
    .-= sheila´s last blog ..Next time, take the stairs. =-.

  8. Nancy, Ingrid and Sheila, thank you all for your great comments.

    Yes, Nancy, we can shift our story! First, we have to start consciously, as you say. As we continue to set ourselves up for success with our story, then when it eventually becomes more comfortable. Before you know it, that story will become part of our unconscious actions and STILL be supporting our success. :o)

    Ingrid, I agree that this is part of living the law of attraction. I believe LOA was meant to be lived, not just used here and there when you WANT someTHING. We all need reminders, from time to time. :o)

    Sheila, I love the example you share here! It’s the perfect example of how you can begin to consciously shift your life experience on all levels ~ get clear about what you want, then tell THAT story (& keep telling it!).

    Many blessings,
    Nancy

  9. This is amazing…you are like an answer to prayer. Wondering why my thinking was so negative…needing to know how to change my mindset….religion started to confuse me, but you really helped something to “click” within my mind. Awesome.

  10. Hi, Adrienne!

    So glad this was helpful for you, and I encourage you to keep reading this blog. I address a lot of common questions and issues for individuals and small business owners.

    Many blessings,
    Nancy

  11. Pingback: Moment-to-Moment Commitment — AffirmingSpirit

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